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I was inspired by something that I read in my Friendster and in another blog to write about this. No, do not worry. This time my rifles are not pointed towards bashing something that is totally unnecessary. That is the reason my first line used the word ‘inspired’ rather than the word ‘raged’.

First of all, I’m having quite a lot of problems to deal with lately and losing few articles had really troubled me into updating my blog as per normal. Apologies. Rest assured, I pledge to make things as entertaining as it has always been whenever I write something.

See, being an Indian , we always have something in common when it comes to our daily activities. More common in a way how we deal some things in our life.

Let me walk you through to some introduction on what I would like to talk about today. Indian teenagers refers to them as ‘Machans; now that applies if you’re Indian and you’re in between the age group of 17- 27. Why it ends at 27 is because most of us end up sleeping with their own wife instead of screwing around with the girlfriends after that age.

So, the story is like this:

What describes you as a true Indian Machan? Read on. Some of the points to describe and I know there is more.

 
1. You come back home drunk and your father slaps you and says that you’re a totally useless son.

1.1 The same father goes and tells to the relatives how proud he is after you graduated or started working

2. Your mother calls you like 5-10 times if you’re not at home by 10 pm.

3. You called another guy ‘punda maven’ unnecessarily even if he is just looking at you

4. You think it looks cool to wind down your window and blast your cheap standard Kancil speakers in front of a school
 
5. You can top up for your girlfriend, but when your mother wants to use your phone, always no credit.

6. You go to clubs with 25 of your friends and all of you share money and end up buying a bottle of liquor.

7. You advice your younger cousins do not drink alcohol while having a bottle of beer in your hand.

8. You drink up with your friends and call a girl in the middle of the morning and bash her up with all kind of bad words.

9. All you have to talk with your friends when you drink is how a girl cheated you.

10. You put some local Tamil movies songs and dance your hearts out in birthday or wedding dinner.

11. You shout ‘Merdeka’ all the way driving back home while holding a bottle of beer
 
12. You feel proud when your girlfriend or your friends calls you ‘Kudikaren’.

13. You go to Thaipusam and feel like you want to dance when you hear the ‘Urumee Melam’.

14. You get beaten up or threatened by your girlfriend’s brothers.
 
15. You say the girl is a bitch if you heard she got 2 boyfriends or more before this.

16. You go to a wedding and your relative compares you with the other cousins on how you’re doing in life.

17. You wear boot cut jeans and you think ‘carrot’ cut is for lamers.

18. You drink for every occasion - Thaipusam, Deepavali, Ponggal, Death, Birth, ‘Vayaseke Vanthe Day’, Wedding, Engagement, Divorce, Valentine, Friendship and others.

19. You can love other’s sister, but others can’t love your sister.

20. You buy cheap liquors, drink outside the club, and then go inside the club and order a jug of beer and stay until the club closes.
 

And the list will go on and on. Please take note this is just for fun but actually it does contain some truth on it. Ponder upon the points; you might have done some yourself. Have a pleasant weekend!

September 5th, 2008 | Category: Humor/Jokes, Indians | Comments (6)

I like the number 69 because it resembles something.

But anyway, it’s not 69 but its 16 9.

The question is :Do you really think the September 16 th takeover by DSAI is really going to happen?

For a man with that much capability, I for one would say Yes, it might. What is your say?

September 1st, 2008 | Category: Current Affairs, Politic | Comments (11)

Short Talk : I typed 3 good articles and saved it in my laptop. And so, the usual virus attacked the laptop and it was in need of a reformat. I reformatted and yes, then I remembered that I did not back up or transferred the 3 articles. God.

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What’s the fun without M1 articles?

Well, due to popular demand to the earlier topic “Cheating Indian Girls for Dummies”, I’m back with a similar topic this time. It became pretty famous and Best-Selling-Article for my blog. Indeed it did. Much like how some things in life would never fail to amuse you, that’s  how love is nowadays.Banging and bashing girls all the time is no good as my fellow dicks would be left out with high spirit thinking that we’re the superior species.

The topic would again stereotype Indian guys but it would be somewhat different because it’s not going to be about the usual Indian guys on the street. We’re too wise you see. It is about those Indian Mandes and Thonggis. I present to you “Cheating Indian Thonggis for Dummies”. I’ve wanted to write about this for quite some time, but I put hold this thing because there were threats that people want to kill me. *Wink

The thing about cheating a guy is guys takes all the advantage. I mean if we indeed cheat a girl, at least we’re cheating for fuck. But then, what do girls gain when they cheat a guy, simple, it can practically be any of these things:

1. Money
2. Revenge for cheating your friends
3. For fun
4. For fuck too

A point to note is if any of the girls is interested with point number 4, I welcome you to cheat me. While brushing off that case as very rare, we should take the first 3 reasons on why girls can cheat guys and gain from it.

Indian guys had always been related to quite a number of terms when it comes to girls. See, once upon a time, Indian guys were said:

Tamilan sandeleh than sageran.(Tamilan die because of fighting).

But now,with all the lame love things going on, the saying had changed to

Tamilan pundae lethan sageran (Tamilan dying because of pussy).

(Sande leh sethe Tamilan ipeh punde le sageran.Ena kodumeh ithe)

Some of the guys out there are too easy to be cheated because well, they’re what we can call as ‘thonggis’ or simply can be called as ‘pussy hunters’.

Some of them would die for love. Just look at the suicide ratio. So, girls, how can we really cheat them? Easy. Just like cheating girls, cheating guys follows the same rules. Its 5F rules.

Friend
As usual the first thing that should be done is to befriend them. No worries my dear girls, you do not need to go anywhere. This guy’s a.k.a Thonggis would come directly to you without you putting much effort. All you need is as usual Friendster or Facebook.

If you’re looking for High Class Thonggi’s , go for Facebook. Usually the better ones are there. For the low class one, Friendster should do the work. What you need to do, try cam whoring in different position, and never ever if you’re fat, put up a full picture of yours. Just like how you’ll cheat by putting up names like Angel Unjel or something like that, never put up a full picture of yours. Stick with your face picture if the bottom part of yours weighs at least half a tan (Terpaksa kutuk girls a bit).

Well, it’s all for your good. Try adding up a few friends and keep silent for a few days. If possible, make sure your profile is a private one. So that they would not be able to see all your picture and chances are they might send out a message to you and add you.

Once they add you, you can see one of the lamest things a person can do in Friendster. That is the sign that something caught your bait.

This fucker would put a comment like:

“Hi girl, thanks for the add.”

Or the usual Glitter Flash thingy “Bling here, bling there, Thanks 4 the Add”.

It’s just so lame ay. Guys, please, change, especially those Malayalees I’ve noticed loves to do this. *Wink.

Other things that you can usually notice if he would easily fall down for cheap tactics is by looking at their photos. Try to see if they’re posing with their usual EX-5 with a ‘karat mande’ look. Strike 1.

Fear
Now, the thing this guy loves the most is the fear that you generate when you talk to them. Let’s say if they add you up in MSN, then try to be as fearful as possible to them. Show and you pay your respect and let them feel inferior in all the way possible.

This way, they would feel like they’re the superior species.
Flirt

The usual weapon in any type of hunting. The normal flirting would take you through this stage. Please do not overdo most of the things as this might lead you to be a bit suspectible.

This is also the time that you need to put forward certain things on what you’re actually looking for. Try to put up some demands and do’s and dont’s. Do not make it ask for too many things in the beginning because might withdraw his attention. Gradually increase your demands as time passes by.

Faith
Through your skill of flirting, try to build up faith onto these guys that you’re for real. But girls, never ever go and meet them. They would be giving thousands of reasons to meet you. Getting to know better, for a while only la, and damn lots of other reasons.

Remember, stick to the rules if you want to save up your pussy. No meeting, dating and mating.

Frame

Time to frame him, as for girls; you can stick around with this type of things. It usually works. (MSN)

Thonggi :  Hi da, how r u 2day? I miz u yar, u knw.

Girl : Hmmmm…I’m sad . I got problems da.

Thonggi :  Hah! Wat problem da,tel me,tel me

Girl : You know, “bla..bla put up some sentimental financial story here if you intend some financial gain”. I don know wat to do da. My father not even giving money to top up.

Thonggi : Da, this is not problem. Don wori. I help u ok.Y nvr tell me? M i not important? I top up for u tmrw ok.

Girl : ‘Put some crying emoticons’. Thanks da. I’m so happy I got u.

That’s all. This thing would work 100% depending on the person you’re playing it upon.

Fight

After you’ve achieved what you need, time to screw this guy out. You can do the usual thing, just ignore and he might threaten you that he would die or he might kill you.

You don’t have to care a bit. Just put him out of your social networks and ignore his calls. Do not ever tell him that you wanted to cheat him because so and so reasons. This would infuriate him. That’s no good for you.

The End of Story.

By no mean this article is written in a manner so that girls know how to cheat a guy after this. It is just a comical display on how some of our Indian guys can behave on the Internet and in real life.

Sigh, now hopefully the girls are satisfied.

And girls, by doing this, you are rather finding a bad name for yourself than gaining anything out of it. This articles serves as a mere humorous approach and only take the message out of it, not implement in your daily life.

August 28th, 2008 | Category: Indians, Love | Comments (20)

As I mentioned in the previous post, my friend won the election by 15 000 something majority.

Good news. Now, let’s see what happens next. Politics had never been hotter than this.

August 27th, 2008 | Category: Divine/Holy | Comments (3)

I believe you would have read about this : Petrol price down

It’s a relief for all of us, some of the Malaysians might think. Behold my friends, as this might be just another political gimmick by our beloved Government.

Why do they have to reduce petrol price sooner than expected? I expect you to know the answers.

It coincides with the upcoming Permatang Pauh by-election. A clear tactic to pull some cheap sympathy votes perhaps and to show that the Government ‘cares’.

Increased RM 0.78 and reduced a mere RM 0.15. Anyway, my dear Government, the damage is already done. Prices of goods had done up, in fact everything is up, except for my salary.

Shoot up another man onto the moon and waste up some more money with our tax. And give him Datukship when he comes back.

“Kita tak nak kena tipu lagi la bang. Ini taktik budak kecik.”

By the way, don’t worry because the petrol price is only decreased 15 cent. I wanted to tell you all for quite some time. Sebenarnya :

We’re friends. I will discuss with him and make the petrol price 15 cent instead of reducing 15 cent. Haha.

Undilah PKK! Parti Kau Kaya! Hahaha. Siapa mau join?

August 23rd, 2008 | Category: Current Affairs, Politic | Comments (10)

It’s a fuckin’  Friday (M1 style)! And I’ve got a riddle for you.

When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

The answer is very easy but it’s not a dirty one. Don’t shoot me down with your rifles ,I’m innocent.

Dentist

August 22nd, 2008 | Category: Girls, Indians, Love | Comments (7)

Since the Olympic games is going on, I do not want to be left out of posting something related.

How to make Olympic a far more fierce ,challenging and crowd-attracting event? The pictures below has the answers. Enjoy.

Gymnastics bar should be replaced with this one. 

Javelin throw should be done against each other athletes

Put up a Resident Evil like zombies to catch up

Tie their legs together and let them run with the other couples

Replace the fencing swords with Star Wars swords..haha..

Put up a new event - The hottest kissing females

Let the lion do the work

This stadium would definitely draw the crowd in , no matter what the sport is

Cycling event. This event is reserved for ‘Malayalees’. Please take note. Malayalacling is the new name. They don’t mix up with other race or ethnics.

AND THE ULTIMATE CROWD PULLER OF ALL TIME : SHOULD BE BELOW

What do you think?

More Olympic related by my Partner in Crime ; Here

August 20th, 2008 | Category: Current Affairs, Humor/Jokes | Comments (3)