See, no matter how many times I try to explain that creating a message that seems to be fucked up and provides a question to its originality; you better not show it to me. All because when I’m half drunk I always seem to pick up on anything and start bashing them. This message I took from my Friendster bulletin today since the topic was seemingly interesting with the “Every Girls Dream Boyfriend” title.
I’ve seen this type of titles many a times lately but I tend to ignore them since I was more interested about the fucks Indian girls are getting nowadays. I would not let my moment of half drunk here hold you down by talking nonsense. My sense of humor escalated to a higher altitude with this topic which was posted in Friendster. Ever since I had Friendster, I’ve never seen any bulletin topics by a guy posting up a topic about “How they want their girlfriends to be”.
In a rather opposing count of “Idontknowhowmany” to “0”, girls are going ahead of the race. And no, it had never bothered me when the Amois does this. It is all about our Kamachis.
A totally raged Indian presents to you what might be one of the longest topic and the longest time spend writing about it. I started writing this at 3.10 am. Let’s see how long it takes. I’m taking up the original article from Friendster bulletin board. I will answer each ’dreams’ with an answer. My answer would be on blue color, and the original article will remain intact.
Please take not that I hold no grudge towards the person who wrote this but rather it’s all about the idea.
Message: Every girl dreams that one day she will find a boy that does these things for her. Even the smallest action can have the BIGGEST impact in someone’s life.
Message: Every guy dreams the same thing. But that is dream. Enough of the sentiments of small action, big impact.
•• ring her up everyday and tell her you miss her very much
– Ring you everyday ah. Don’t tell me we never ring you all the time. We will be calling, either your call will be waiting, or you will be in class, or your parents would be in and you can’t talk. Aperom enadi miss you very much.
•• joke around with her, she wouldn’t like if you’re very VERY serious
–What are we doing now,bark? Joke around means, we’re very much comfortable with adult jokes, shall we share that with you? Then you would label us as being a sex freak, right or not? Etheke vinah?
•• entertain her every single time
– You see, we would love to entertain you every single time, but either we’re working and we sometimes just do not have much money to spend for hotels.
•• love her for who she is, not for her wealth or anything else
– This is an old Indian dialogue. Love her for what she is. Enough of the sentiments, think of the logic, if she is a beggar, would you love her, an absolute no , shut the fuck up.
•• when arguements,work things out instead of just leaving it behind
– Spell check please.When an ‘argument’ comes, you would leave us. You would most probably give reasons like compatibility. Then how do you expect us to work things out?
••don play around wid other girls or your exes
– Yes, yes, we’re the only gender who is playing with other opposing species. Girls had always remained with their own guys. What the hell girls? Why don’t you spend the same percentage of fault as well? As the famous philosopher Lizard when asked what is love, he said ” Room podrethe”. Plus, oh come on, if they want to play with us, can we deny that?
•• never forget what she says
– What if I have a bad memory? What if she expects me to remember what time she fingered herself last year on the August of 13th? What if she wants me to remember her great grandfather’s name? Bullshit I say.
• give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in
– T-shirt? What the hell? First T-shirt, then underwear so that you could sniff in? Oh come on, this is called sexual fantasies.
•• leave her cute text notes.
– How about sexual fantasy notes?
•• kiss her in front of your friends.
– Then she will be telling that I’m sexual predator or a sex hungry bastard. Tell me Indian girls, would you agree your boyfriend kiss you in front of your friends?
••tell her she is gorgeous.
– That would be a definite lie. If we feel like telling, we would do that.
•• look into her eyes when you talk to her.
– What the fuck ay? No sane person would look into your boobs or pussy when talking to you my dear girls? Of course into the eyes.Look into her eyes
•• let her mess with your hair
– Ah, we like that. Maireleh velayedrethe avolo shock ah?
•• touch her hair.
– We don’t mind doing that as well.
•• “FORGiVE HER FOR HER MiSTAKES”
– For her mistakes, we shall forget about it, but let’s say if the dicks did something wrong, they’re guilty once they’re suspected. That’s not fair ay.
•• look at her like she`s the only one you see.
– What if we’re in Thaipusam? How the hell am I going to see you only? Should I hold your face and walk all the way up? OH MURUGA…
•• tickle her even when she says stop.
– Oh, we love tickling, but you didn’t say where? We like going down.
•• hold her hand when you`re around your friends.
– We always do that, no doubt.
•• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.
– What if she say “poda mayire”. Then we should show all our teeth smiling and say “I love you “.Yea right, the girls will start swearing at us, and we should be telling I love you. What the hell? Mayirachi kita pun bang la.
•• let her fall asleep in your arms..
– Don’t sleep, we’ll have quite some things to do before that
•• get her mad, then kiss her.
– No need to get her mad, she will always be one.
•• tease her and let her tease you back.
– Can we tease her like “Small boobs” and she in return says ” Small dick “?
•• stay up all night with her when she`s sick.
– Oh, I hate sentiments.
• watch her favorite movie with her.
– Fair enough. But shouldn’t that be imposed to the girls as well? I like watching porn, how can ah girls?
•• kiss her forehead.
–Depends on the mood
•• give her the world.
– How? Buy an artificial globe?
•• write her letters.
– We’ve got MSN, Email, SMS, Mobile, and still you want to use letters as a method of communication?
•• let her wear your clothes.
–That’s disgusting. We can’t be wearing panties in return. What kind of sentimental shit is this?
•• and when you love her, love her like you’ve never loved someone before.
– Yes, book the hotel 3 times in a week.
I’ll have to catch my breath. And yes, label me as a not-very-romantic type then.
I’m pretty sure again this article will be bringing you another round of infuriation towards me. Nevertheless, I couldn’t care less. I was not bothered about all that the girls wanted all this while, but if this is the requirement, then you girls would not get married your whole life or would not fall in love with anyone.
You would get all this in a single guy unless you have few different guys all at once.
One Indian girl –>
–> Muthu –> To write letters for her
–> Samy –> To give her notes and to tickle her
–> Durai –> For first night and other sexual purposes
See, it doesn’t come in a package.
So, practically this is not possible in life. Don’t you think so? When you dream, you’re supposed to be dreaming something that is realistic although it seems implausible to achieve. But dreaming getting boyfriends like above is like a guy dreaming to date Marilyn Monroe who is already dead.
When you know this entire thing is not going to come true, why the hell you have to post this in bulletins and so on. Why do you have to tell all the guys this is the requirements that you want from us?
Again the reason why I wrote about this because all I believe relationship is based on who you get; you have to live with it. If you’re indeed fated to be with someone, you might end up with a sexual predator maybe. I’m not trying to halt any girls from dreaming about their boyfriends, but at the same time, what will look good in words wouldn’t look good in life, that’s what I wanted to convey.
“I didn’t write this to provoke any of you. Again, I stress, read this for fun but take the message behind it and consider.”
Be happy with what you’ve got, you’ll be satisfied your whole life.It is right to strive for greater heights, but make it a realistic target(This is for life). What are the requirements to keep you happy anyway girls? I wonder.
The time is now 4.30 am.