Kamachi’s Dream Guy


See, no matter how many times I try to explain that creating a message that seems to be fucked up and provides a question to its originality; you better not show it to me. All because when I’m half drunk I always seem to pick up on anything and start bashing them. This message I took from my Friendster bulletin today since the topic was seemingly interesting with the “Every Girls Dream Boyfriend” title.
I’ve seen this type of titles many a times lately but I tend to ignore them since I was more interested about the fucks Indian girls are getting nowadays. I would not let my moment of half drunk here hold you down by talking nonsense. My sense of humor escalated to a higher altitude with this topic which was posted in Friendster. Ever since I had Friendster, I’ve never seen any bulletin topics by a guy posting up a topic about “How they want their girlfriends to be”.
In a rather opposing count of “Idontknowhowmany” to “0”, girls are going ahead of the race. And no, it had never bothered me when the Amois does this. It is all about our Kamachis.
A totally raged Indian presents to you what might be one of the longest topic and the longest time spend writing about it. I started writing this at 3.10 am. Let’s see how long it takes. I’m taking up the original article from Friendster bulletin board. I will answer each ‘dreams’ with an answer. My answer would be on blue color, and the original article will remain intact.
Please take not that I hold no grudge towards the person who wrote this but rather it’s all about the idea.

Message: Every girl dreams that one day she will find a boy that does these things for her. Even the smallest action can have the BIGGEST impact in someone’s life.
Message: Every guy dreams the same thing. But that is dream. Enough of the sentiments of small action, big impact. 

•• ring her up everyday and tell her you miss her very much

 – Ring you everyday ah. Don’t tell me we never ring you all the time. We will be calling, either your call will be waiting, or you will be in class, or your parents would be in and you can’t talk. Aperom enadi miss you very much.
•• joke around with her, she wouldn’t like if you’re very VERY serious

 –What are we doing now,bark? Joke around means, we’re very much comfortable with adult jokes, shall we share that with you? Then you would label us as being a sex freak, right or not? Etheke vinah?
•• entertain her every single time         

– You see, we would love to entertain you every single time, but either we’re working and we sometimes just do not have much money to spend for hotels.
•• love her for who she is, not for her wealth or anything else     

– This is an old Indian dialogue. Love her for what she is. Enough of the sentiments, think of the logic, if she is a beggar, would you love her, an absolute no , shut the fuck up.
•• when arguements,work things out instead of just leaving it behind

– Spell check please.When an ‘argument’ comes, you would leave us. You would most probably give reasons like compatibility. Then how do you expect us to work things out?
••don play around wid other girls or your exes   

– Yes, yes, we’re the only gender who is playing with other opposing species. Girls had always remained with their own guys. What the hell girls? Why don’t you spend the same percentage of fault as well? As the famous philosopher Lizard when asked what is love, he said ” Room podrethe”. Plus, oh come on, if they want to play with us, can we deny that?
•• never forget what she says       

– What if I have a bad memory? What if she expects me to remember what time she fingered herself last year on the August of 13th? What if she wants me to remember her great grandfather’s name? Bullshit I say.
• give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in   

– T-shirt? What the hell? First T-shirt, then underwear so that you could sniff in? Oh come on, this is called sexual fantasies.
•• leave her cute text notes.

 – How about sexual fantasy notes?
•• kiss her in front of your friends.    

– Then she will be telling that I’m sexual predator or a sex hungry bastard. Tell me Indian girls, would you agree your boyfriend kiss you in front of your friends?
••tell her she is gorgeous.    

– That would be a definite lie. If we feel like telling, we would do that.
•• look into her eyes when you talk to her.

– What the fuck ay? No sane person would look into your boobs or pussy when talking to you my dear girls? Of course into the eyes.

       Look into her eyes

•• let her mess with your hair

– Ah, we like that. Maireleh velayedrethe avolo shock ah?
•• touch her hair.

– We don’t mind doing that as well.

– For her mistakes, we shall forget about it, but let’s say if the dicks did something wrong, they’re guilty once they’re suspected. That’s not fair ay.
•• look at her like she`s the only one you see.

– What if we’re in Thaipusam? How the hell am I going to see you only? Should I hold your face and walk all the way up? OH MURUGA…
•• tickle her even when she says stop.

– Oh, we love tickling, but you didn’t say where? We like going down.
•• hold her hand when you`re around your friends.

– We always do that, no doubt.
•• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.

– What if she say “poda mayire”. Then we should show all our teeth smiling and say “I love you “.Yea right, the girls will start swearing at us, and we should be telling I love you. What the hell? Mayirachi kita pun bang la.
•• let her fall asleep in your arms..

– Don’t sleep, we’ll have quite some things to do before that
•• get her mad, then kiss her.

– No need to get her mad, she will always be one.
•• tease her and let her tease you back.

– Can we tease her like “Small boobs” and she in return says ” Small dick “?
•• stay up all night with her when she`s sick.

–  Oh, I hate sentiments.
• watch her favorite movie with her.

– Fair enough. But shouldn’t that be imposed to the girls as well? I like watching porn, how can ah girls?
•• kiss her forehead.

–Depends on the mood
•• give her the world.

– How? Buy an artificial globe?
•• write her letters.

– We’ve got MSN, Email, SMS, Mobile, and still you want to use letters as a method of communication?
•• let her wear your clothes.

–That’s disgusting. We can’t be wearing panties in return. What kind of sentimental shit is this?
•• and when you love her, love her like you’ve never loved someone before.

– Yes, book the hotel 3 times in a week.

I’ll have to catch my breath. And yes, label me as a not-very-romantic type then.

I’m pretty sure again this article will be bringing you another round of infuriation towards me. Nevertheless, I couldn’t care less. I was not bothered about all that the girls wanted all this while, but if this is the requirement, then you girls would not get married your whole life or would not fall in love with anyone.

You would get all this in a single guy unless you have few different guys all at once. 

One Indian girl –>


–> Muthu –> To write letters for her

–> Samy  –> To give her notes and to tickle her

–> Durai –> For first night and other sexual purposes

See, it doesn’t come in a package.
So, practically this is not possible in life. Don’t you think so? When you dream, you’re supposed to be dreaming something that is realistic although it seems implausible to achieve. But dreaming getting boyfriends like above is like a guy dreaming to date Marilyn Monroe who is already dead.
When you know this entire thing is not going to come true, why the hell you have to post this in bulletins and so on. Why do you have to tell all the guys this is the requirements that you want from us?
Again the reason why I wrote about this because all I believe relationship is based on who you get; you have to live with it. If you’re indeed fated to be with someone, you might end up with a sexual predator maybe. I’m not trying to halt any girls from dreaming about their boyfriends, but at the same time, what will look good in words wouldn’t look good in life, that’s what I wanted to convey.

“I didn’t write this to provoke any of you. Again, I stress, read this for fun but take the message behind it and consider.”
Be happy with what you’ve got, you’ll be satisfied your whole life.It is right to strive for greater heights, but make it a realistic target(This is for life). What are the requirements to keep you happy anyway girls? I wonder.

The time is now 4.30 am.

27 comments to Kamachi’s Dream Guy

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Some girls and with their dreams..aiseh….If they get this kind of dream guy,sure she will end up with a fuck…ahahahahhaa….tirentha jenmemgel ithe ellam…..Why expecting this stuffs all la kamachi?? Aiseh..Expecting things will just leave you ending up screwed…Get along with life without any expectations la!! Itu baru dipanggil HIDUP..How long we gonna live with this stupid sentiments…You girls,not all eh..expect all kind of things from guys but when they expect from u girls..u will come up with all sort of bullshits..enna ulagem ithe?! remember,what goes ard,comes ard kamachis…If u expect this things from a guy,they have the rights to expect things from you too…So,stop with lame bulletins…Get a life!

    N ya Durai,
    for your quest -What are the requirements to keep you happy anyway girls?
    For me,me only ah..Be yourself.

  • mike

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    hahaha….i like this one very much:

    •• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.

    – What if she say “poda mayire”. Then we should show all our teeth smiling and say “I love you “.Yea right, the girls will start swearing at us, and we should be telling I love you. What the hell? Mayirachi kita pun bang la.

    who la post bullentin like this….girls always have thousands of dreamz and for them guys must fullfill the dreams…WTF…..

    However…i like ur post today….i suport u

  • Tic tac

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    I always wandered where they get the material to post this mushy articles on friendster bulletin and i suspect it must have have been forwarded emails yang di copy paste into friendster bulletin.Well they are nice to read but not applicable in real life and the irony is after you come across again and again the same articles that belong to that genre you become sick to the stomach!
    Not to forget the ever famous 15 ways to know if your boyfriend truly loves you..or 20 things a guy would do for a girl..etc etc..they are nice to read..you can go ooo and aaa after reading but after that please come back to reality okva..
    I believe the population of wise indian girls outweight the ermm dunno what to call type of indian girls ..dont they?
    Abdul Kalam(India’s ex prime minister)once told youngsters to dream high..i bet he did not mean this kind of dreams though =)

  • Lizard

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    •• kiss her in front of your friends.
    Then she will be telling that I’m sexual predator or a sex hungry bastard. Tell me Indian girls, would you agree your boyfriend kiss you in front of your friends?

    Bro , if u check out the age of the girls which is sending this kind of bulletins , worst to worst they will be 16 or 17 … A lot of fantasies. I do have a cousin like this. And the reason she became like this is Hindi movies and those youngsters love stories .Where the goddamn brain goes?Evenavathu ‘ayat’ potha pothum. Love develop ayirum… After that.. Nassemma pochi….

  • IP

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    As the famous philosopher Lizard when asked what is love, he said ” Room podrethe”.

    Thats funny…new addition to Philosophical text….

    •• let her mess with your hair

    – Ah, we like that. Maireleh velayedrethe avolo shock ah?


    One Indian girl –>


    –> Muthu –> To write letters for her

    –> Samy –> To give her notes and to tickle her

    –> Durai –> For first night and other sexual purposes


    what a mentality for kamachi’s…….weird…….

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Evenavathu ‘ayat’ potha pothum. Love develop ayirum…

    Engeyum “ayat” poderethana…Lol…

  • Lizard

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    Rubenee , i know what u mean.. Do not judge me wrongly. I meant that in the scenario mentioned above… I think we have to talk about this… He he he

  • Lizard

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    IP: I got lot of funny Philosophical text like that…
    Unique one…

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Errrr lizard…Just joking la….

    Aduiii….we have to talk ah?? *_*
    Peselam peselam…..

  • inba

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    brother lizard n durai,

    will either one of you accept me as your disciple?

    “kosuvukku paavadai katti,katti….
    athu pombeleyennu solran punda makka chetti, chetti….”

    sing to the tune of jigujikkan jigujikkan jikka

  • budak kampung tak tau English

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    jeng jeng jeng…im comin up wit a comment on tis topic..hehehe…

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Correct bro.

    Dear *certain* girls, enough of day dreaming and being an “Alice in wonderland”. Please wake up and face the fact!

    *Please consider writing your very own “What guys expect from girls” article lar bro. Savadiya irukkom! =D

  • Mithiri

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    Rubenee I agree with what you say ,
    If u expect this things from a guy,they have the rights to expect things from you too.So girls if you really love a guy think of ways that you can make him happy.Reasonable ways I mean and not ” Room podrethe” and Lizard ” Room podrethe” is not love but lust.Don’t think what your guy can/should do for you.Think what you can/should do for your guy.This will be the start of a good relationship.To all those Friendster girls stop dreaming and start living.Life is not a joke please take it seriously.Bye for now.

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    hahaha…its funny,bro..
    hope those bitchaz who posting this kind of bulletin will read n ‘insaf’..

  • Lizard

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    Mithiri : It was meant to be a joke .It was a spontaneous joke.. I never really mean it.. Hope u don take it serious and please do understand that im not a guy who was brought up in that way…

  • Mithiri

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    Lizard : Glad to hear that. Sorry if I have offended you.I hope there are no heart feelings.

    Jivitha : What is your problem anyway?
    I hope my message got through loud and clear. Thanks for your nice compliments about me.

  • Lizard

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    Mithiri: Marrapom manippom…. Tamilan panpadhe…

  • Hotel room

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    Briyani teenoma,kasu kudutoma,poikitu irukunam mammu.

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Savadi sangge kutthu poh! What eva in my mind i can just read it here in this article. Bro chun article, celek panni machi..

    btches are always like that.. they think they are the only one who have feelings and expect the guys to meet their expectations, all the time. Namme konjo lesa matthe sareke paatha..orediyaa thuppu vilevo..ithe athenge partha namme diam ah irukeno..

    ithetha mike valkayin neethi.. anyway yenna panerethe..
    we cant live with or without them…

    keep up with your article mike!!

  • savundra

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    i couldnt stop laughin while readin this post… nice one though… hope u’ll consider wht makkez f told… waitin 4 it! ;D

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    @rubenee – Inthe mathiri requirements than rubenee nangge ethir pakerom.Hehe

    @mike – Who posting,mike, damn lot of girls posting . Tak boleh tahan dah la.

    @Tic tac – Lol. You’re right. Cheers.

    @Lizard – Athe seri,athe seri brother.

    @IP – Biasa thane. LOL>

    @inba – Ninggethan bro guru, ipedi ore pathe nan kethe the ille bro.Savadi.

    @Makkez – Bro, coming soon..sollithinggeleh..

    @Mithiri – No offence mithiri. Room podrethe just for jokes. You’ve got your point anyway cikgu.

    @Hellboy – Nandri ayyah nandri.

    @Hotel room – Innum ore paleh moliyah..

    @rujjcoomarh – seriyah sonigeh bro, cant live with or without them…

    @savundra – No worries coming soon…

  • matesh

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    oh no im been banned how shame am i

  • Prabakar

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    hahahha…awesome…if all girls just waiting for their dream guys…how about the guys which is not in anyones dream…lolz pavvum fellow…useless species….

  • tamilpenn88

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    bro…wat a gal expects 4rm a guy is only pure love n care….if a guy is willing 2 love n care 4 de gal whole heartedly…..a gal would want anything else…..this stsement posted above is 4 immatured gals…..matured gals would b looking 4 a responsible n a loving character….its de truth guyz….trust me

  • Sudha

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    I agree with most of it! But I personally think giving the t-shirt part is kinda sweet.. ;)

  • Kasvini

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    HAHAHAHAHAhaa… Buy an artificial globe? hahahahhaha… funny lar.. cutelar… Korean dramas feed a lot of these fantasies marr… In real life, I think people just want to find spouses that can stay under the same roof without blowing it up or leaving the toilet unwashed.


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