Cooking with Durai

My heartiest condolences to the family of the late Kugan s/o Ananthan . May his soul rest in peace.


I was sitting and relaxing in my sofa enjoying the evening rain when my sister walked pass me. Before she could go any further, I ordered my regular cup of tea. The norm is for my mother to mix it but since my mother is nowhere to be seen that day, I thought why not.

So, she rushed into the kitchen without hesitating. Few minutes later, I’m sipping my tea and immediately I realized I’m drinking a glass of hot water. I can hardly smell the tea.

This is not the first occasion when I’ve tasted girls mixing drinks or cooking very badly. Let me take an example of how Indians were once living, at least in my family. See, Indian woman’s is said to be always in the kitchen once upon a time,and it is a known fact that only around the past 50 years these woman’s had started to come out from kitchen and seeking equal opportunities with man.

But then, how has it led how Indian woman lives today? How does it influence  us today? Even till today, it is a must in my family for all the girls to do the house chores and learn how to do the cooking. See, this might seem like a small task and does not influence the way we live now. Respect towards the guys in the family grows greater when a woman is thought about how to value our culture.

See, how I think woman should be will definitely contradict with your thoughts. It will definitely be the opposite of what you might have in mind about how our Indian girls should be. This article is not to point up that man are superior races thus girls should bow to them . No, that’s not the point.

Even till now, do not get me wrong, I get angry when an Indian girl can’t even mix up a good cup of tea. This is definitely the most basic thing a woman should know to do. Why are we ignoring all this now?

Ask the girls around you, heck, I will ask you, how many of you do know how to cook? At least how to make drinks? Yes, I’m all up for cultural preservation. At least for this matter. It is not like a thing that should be ignored.

Aiyo, no time la.

Or she will answer in the cutest way possible.

I know how to cook maggi.

I had indeed asked this to few girls and the above answer was one of the answer that I got. Don’t fucking play around with me when I ask this type of questions.How are you going to bring up the children’s if you do not even know how to cook ? How are you going to preserve our hundred of years of culture if you are not interested to learn about it? Heck, even I can cook some simple dishes. This is with the limited time I have. Why can’t you?

See, I know this article will affect most of you girls here. My point is not to pin point any of your flaws regarding this matter. I just feel like where we are heading to nowadays is more and more to disaster. True, girls now are not like girls how it has been 50 years ago.

I’ve always been an old time thinker. At least in some issues.

1. Cooking
2. Taking care of childrens
3. Regular prayers

(Here onwards is a targeted message)

If you can have all the time in the world to go clubbing and fucking around with your boyfriend , do not tell me you can’t occupy some time to learn the trick of the trade from your mother. Let’s say if you get married, are you going to eat out all your life? Are you going to be bringing your children’s to eat out all the time?

I personally know one woman who regularly feeds her children with McD’s and other fast foods each and every day. She do not know how to cook and hell no, not even coffee.  All she buys is cartons and cartons of juices , ready-made foods and other things for her children to eat. Isn’t this a disgrace?

When I go around Friendster profiles, I regularly see this hardly-wearing-anything girls putting this under their Favourite Foods section:

Mother’s cooking.

Vaiyeh sapderethe paikereh mathiri, kaiyeh samehkiretheke payingge chelenggelah…

The only regular thing I see Indian girls holding nowadays is a guys private part.Sigh. Mike pidikereh anah samehkireh karendi pidike mathikireyeh chelem….

What I wanted to bring up in this post is not only about cooking, its all about cultural preservation.True, cooking might not relate at all about culture, but that’s how I think Indian culture differs from others. (Kai Pakevem) There is still a lot more things that you can do, tons of the other issues, but then , this are the basics. Never forget to learn the basics, it can make a lot of difference.

Girls, can I get a cup of tea?


34 comments to Cooking with Durai

  • Nithz

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    Hahahaha..I guess i am the first one to comment this time. Well, see Durai not all girls (as you mentioned Here onwards is a targeted message) are brought up to learn cooking. If you ask me, it’s all on how the girls were brought up by their family especially their mum. My mum played a very important role in my life & fyi, i started cooking since i was 10years old. Believe it or not, she will actually explain to me each & every ingredients especially our spices & why are they used in our daily cookings. And thats when i started to have interest in cooking. In another word, it should be in their blood lah or those girls (yg tak suka cook) prefers to sit & watch tv @ “tonguran” on hp(normal nowadays) rather then helping their mum in kitchen. Indian value, culture & upbringings are essential to every woman inside them. A cup of tea? Why not, i can make for u(Lipton brand ahh)..kikikikiiiii :)

  • Thumb up Thumb down -1

    machi adicha netchi adi lar.. and i ferkin hate when girls reply “i can cook maggi”.. u maggi my ass, btch!

    oh yeah bro, nowdays ‘chicks’ nt only good in mike pidikeraning but also acting in 3gp videos.

  • Thumb up Thumb down +2

    Bro.. I know more guys who can cook (well or otherwise) than girls..


    Thumb up Thumb down -1

    nowdays gals are becoming useless lar… fcuk u all bithces out there…..

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    ponga mama. i baca title je, i tot u masuk kitchen and cook, and the u r writing this to share ur cooking experiences+ recipe + picture of the result. but hmmm.. tupperaning session aah. heheheh

    tea yenna mama, vera yenna venum solnga.. i do for u.. ungaluku illatata??

    when schooling time, i knw to masak little2. once i turn out 18. mum said u must learn how to cook. in case i go out, u have to cook. u cant buy outside all the time.
    Then, one day she simply went to relative house and she asked me to prepare the lunch.

    i never with her when she cooked. i ony helped her cutting2 the vegetables be4. never notice how she cook.
    ony me, anne and appa at home. finally i decided masak je laa… then i prepare all the items to cook the curry. but just not sure which one to put first.
    so asked my appa, he said ‘ma, sudu tanni poda kuda kitchen ponathu ille, enaku epadi ma teryum. etavathu sei ma’ and when i asked my anne, he said ‘just do anything, i’ll eat’.

    so, i just put all at one time and eto oru alavu complete my mission. the curry was ‘poor’ certificate ony. but my appa and anne said very nice. Jus dont want put me down. (kononnya anak manja, duwan c me cry).

    it was the worst curry i did in ma life. after that i learn how to cook. now expert in cooking most india foods and some chinese and malay foods. Even i havent get a MASTER in cooking, but i reach DEGREE level already.

    so mama, ippo yenna solringa…?


    anyway a great topic. title le taan yematitinga…

  • Thumb up Thumb down +1

    Very good article, narrated the a social issue in a nice way. People are expecting more RIGHTs, but they are forgetting their RESPONSIBILITIES.

  • inba

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    pongge mama, pombelekku tanni mix panne teriyilennu solringge….
    they know mixing..
    1) jack & coke
    2) jack & sprite
    3) captain & coke
    n many more…..

    to all machans out there, plz find jokko/sareke who can cook!!!
    if not, u r fcuked,badly

    When I go around “Friendster profiles, I regularly see this hardly-wearing-anything girls putting this under their Favourite Foods section:Mother’s cooking.”

  • moog

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    somewhat of a long time reader, but never commented until now.

    I’m a guy and a pretty damn good cook. as a matter of fact, I’m a way better cook than my sister. i also do all the chores in the house, and can clean as good as any woman out there – maybe even better? does that make me any less of a man? I don’t think so. It’s a lot more common for the men in my family to cook as my grandfather was a chef for the British authority back in the day, and my uncles (and my mom) learned his skill and became really good cooks, and it’s been handed to the men and the women of the house equally. the best chefs in the world are also men, and four of the five Iron Chefs America are men. Bobby Flay and Micheal Symon are a personal favorite, but that’s beside the point.

    The point is, thanks to the “open” and modern society we live in, traditional gender-based roles no longer apply in daily life. Freedom of choice is emphasized – men and women are free to choose what skills they want in life, instead of being constrained by factors beyond their control (gender, for example). Parental roles are also increasingly not limited to the mother – the father plays an equal part in bringing up the children. While I do emphasize the importance of learning traditional skills – cooking, cleaning, taking care of oneself, all other examples of personal responsibilities – I don’t think which skill we learn should be determined by what gender we are in, instead we should seek to be well-rounded and be equally skilled in everything.

    So Durai, the next time you want a cup of tea and your mom isn’t around… I suggest you go to the kitchen and make one on your own! That way, not only would you learn an awesome skill, you’re no longer limited to only being able to drink tea when there’s somebody at home!

    Cheers mate.


  • savundra

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

    for time being i donno how to cook… it doesnt mean i wil never learn to cook… eventhough i have the urge to learn cookin… my mother ask me to study instead of cookin… but for sure i wouldnt be getting married without knowin hw to cook…

    seriously speakin i didnt expect this kind of article 4m u (in a good way). keep rockin… a very good post. =)

  • seevas

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

    wel, i agree wit viji up ther when i read the title..i really thought you are going to share your cooking experince..but still, worth reading as usual..

    im like mum doesnt really encourage me to cook till im form 5..she wants me to study 1st..afte form 6, then i really started to cook seriuosly..i try one dish everyday..i go online searching for recipes..i know the spices name in tamil & english..i watch tv programmes..i buy books..i try all type of mum’s a great cook..sum of my recipes are better than her, she ask me to cook..but can neva beat my mum….

    so, i guess im in the learning much more better than my cousin sisters..most are married with kids but they are not good cooks…it takes time..& interest..

  • the truth

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    wait, how could you say things like tht especially the paragraphs after the photo, just because your sis couldn’t live up to ur expectations in tea making?

    And you said, “girls now are not like girls how it has been 50 years ago.”

    I agree.

    Women are now running businesses, holding top political positions, and most importantly becoming leaders.

    I think it should strike to you that maybe WE are the ones whom should learning to make tea, because while these women are becoming better and better at what they are doing, WE, the MEN, are just relaxing on our sofas and enjoying the evening rain…

  • sri

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    i agree wif durai. it is important 4 women to know these stuffs as it’ll help them run their family once they get married. i’m nt sayin guys shud live like kings either. they cn always help d gals. my mum works as well, bt she always comes back n does the cookin n stuffs. wen my dad is back frm work, he’ll help her do small chores.

    with skirts, comes responsibilities

  • dani filth

    Thumb up Thumb down +2


    You, sir, are the perfect example of the modern Indian male gone wrong. You live in a limited world of imagination and thought; desperately groping in the dark for a chance to spout upon the world your servile, stereotypical and sexist ideals. Your perception of the Modern Indian Female is one deeply rooted in arcane bias and smothered with years of sexual frustration. You, sir, are the classic Indian Male Stereotype.

    Amidst this cesspool of cliched literary grovelling, you appear to have a warped view of young ladies who patronize establishments of leisure, labelling them with names that appear to be most scandalous! Your ideal mate is, I deduce, a female of tired traditional values with a dog-like obedience to your every word, delicately catering to your fragile male ego.

    However, even though you wallow in a pit of self-opinionated rubbish, I dare say if confronted by a modern, proud, dominant, unshackled, intelligent woman, you would shrink down like the slobbering, sentimental peasant that you are.

    Your biggest crime, sir, is, I am distressed to say, your absolute butchery of the Queen’s English. You have not only ripped apart the fabric of the language; you have also visited upon it a sodomy so vile, that I can no longer appreciate how ridiculously you write, but can only gape in horror. You have taken the English language, shat upon it, and ejaculated forth articles of laughable and repellent quality.

    I must insist, sir, that if you are indeed a gentlemen of strong opinions, backward and boring as they are, please voice yourself in a manner that does not send your more literate readers snickering like a gaggle of Frenchmen in frog tights.

    Quite absurd, I say!

    “Why not, i can make for u(Lipton brand ahh)..kikikikiiiii ”

    I would dearly love a cup, my dear. It is much needed after perusing this abominable epistle. I do wish you would not laugh like that – it is most unbecoming of a young lady.

  • Thumb up Thumb down +1

    @ITKID – Do you have any sisters?

    Anyway, girls who love to waste their time by getting themselves being filmed in 3GP videos and doing whatever shit for the sake of having ‘fun’ should really ditch those habits and start doing something useful, including belajar memasak, if and only if they didn’t knew on how to cook.

    At the same time, guys can learn the same too! Abang Durai, vangge bro, both of us go and belajar memasak bersama-sama.. =D

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    arembechitayingeya ore kalavarethe..

  • Mga

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    a scrumptiously good article again! anyways, its true tht nowadays men make better cooks, they have a finer, more delicate touch to a dish than us gals these days. i feel it IS important for a woman to at least know a bit of cooking for the family’s sake. yup, we can’t be eating out all the time, that is so unhealthy. Plus the way to a man’s heart, is literally through his mouth, enough said!
    *burp* :-)

  • Asshole

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    “Dani Filth” U ROCK!!! Good one..

  • Thumb up Thumb down +3

    Dear Dani Filth,

    I can see where you are coming from, but please bear with me, while Durai’s article does have its flaws, so does your comment. And my articles in my blog too.

    I read with an amused face your description of MCP, Male Chauvinistic Pig. Though Durai could have been easy on his choice of his words, nevertheless the message struck home. And I know as much as I would like to tell you that he is not being a chauvinistic “rooted in arcane bias and smothered with years of sexual frustration”, I don’t think I can make you believe otherwise.

    Durai wasn’t bent on insisting that women should stay at home, cook 24/7, do his bed, etc. His post did not condone a “modern, proud, dominant, unshackled, intelligent woman” did it now? No sir, he wasn’t being a chauvinistic. He was simply pointing out that girls nowadays aren’t so keen on cooking as the girls in the previous generation. And that was the only message, cooking.

    Before you get onto my throat, I am living alone in Australia for past 6 years and I have been cooking every single day of my life here. Yes my tea or my sambar is not first class, heck, not even anywhere close to my mum’s, but nevertheless I know how to cook and my sister doesn’t.

    And before you ask me, no I don’t know if Durai knows how to cook.

    And please Dana Filth, condoning someone’s English just because they wrote against the “Modern Indian Female” is just plain childish. Perhaps I could suggest that you go and read the Queen’s blog itself? I am guessing it would be in the silky Queen’s English.

  • sri

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

    Living in uk for 3 years now and I promise u, I havn’t met anyone who speaks english like dani filth. she must have really thought hard to write that comment.

  • dani filth

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    Dear Sactyr,

    I say! You have truly opened my eyes. Even now I see the error of my ways. Old Durai is truly a paragon of virtue, a rightful champion of the fairer sex, a knight in shining armour. I must also say that you are perfectly wrong in assuming I would ‘get onto’ your throat – in fact I would like to pelt it with kisses! Perfectly topping!

    However, I do believe your years spent in the heathen colonies of Australia has taken a great toll upon your wit. The Queen’s blog, sir? If this is an attempt at humour or satire on your part, feeble or not, I can assure you Oscar Wilde is spinning like a dashed top in his grave right now.

    Do leave those blighted colonial wastelands and wire me some time. We could trickle down to the Club and agree about all things backward and sexist, what? Pip pip!

  • Thumb up Thumb down +1

    @Nithz : I agree with the part it is important for the family to actually to teach the value of cooking towards the girls in the family. It no longer seems to be important in this fast moving world , where fast food replaces our daily food need sometimes.

    A cup of tea, yes , for sure?


    @rujjcoomarh : Ithe than bro nanum soldren, aneh kileh ore velehkene velleh kareh aunty epedi comment kudethe iruke parengge…

    @sactyr : Exactly brother, who can we see cooking in hotels anyway?

    2. Thanks for putting forward your views below brother..

    @ITKID : …………

    @viji : Good that you actually value what is thought and to you and never tend to ignore in what people had been calling such a simple thing.

    Ipetheki tea mattum pothum viji…hehehehe..

    @Aalavanthaan : Thanks brother, nice quote there…Cheers

    @inba : Haaaaa…Bro, inthe mixing pethi peseringgelah ningge? Athe seri..athe seri…hehehehe

    @moog : Brother, The thing about this article is not to pin point that I’m being lazy or to show that I’m a male-dominating-female type of person.

    I wanted to highlight one thing in this article, that girls should learn how to cook, and put forward some reasons why so. That simple

    Cheers brother :D

    @savundra : Good that you have the urge to cook, learn, it should be fun , girl.

    @seevas : Well, pointing out your cousin sisters who lacks the cooking capability , I guess that pretty much sums up examples of people I’m mentioning in the article providing fast foods for children’s even in the young age.

    @the truth : You shot me down too early brother. I did not, I repeat did not conclude that woman nowadays are bad cooks taking the example of my sister alone. This article points out to every woman that do not how to cook and do not have any interest on it. Examples shown in the article might be my sister, but tell me, don’t you personally know many woman who cant cook either brother?

    FYI, I’ve said in the article that I know cooking too.

    @sri : Exactly the point I wanted to convey in the article brother, you summarize it.Cheers bro..

    @dani filth :
    Dear Aunty,

    One thing I would love to make clear first of all is, I did not make this post to say that male should be dominating female, I made this post to convey that woman should learn to cook,you catch my point?

    Next ,Aunty :

    If your intention is to insult or mock me, please do it in a more simple way. I could only laugh looking at your comments ; that you unknowingly had tried your best to insult me, in a ‘language’ I did not understand; please bear in mind that I do not know Queen’s English all that well as you’ve said.

    Seriously speaking, I was the one at horror reading this comment, for the reason; honestly speaking, I couldn’t grasp what you were trying to convey.

    As Sactyr suggested in the end, on the other hand you can also try up Encyclopedias for reading purpose. My blog is definitely not up to your par.

    What I believe is, due to my absolute “butchery of the Queen’s English”, you couldn’t actually understand the simple message that I wanted to point out.

    Enggerenthe vantheyo nee…emah thaye…Aunty, dasyat la ningge…

    @Makkez – Haa, “Cooking with Durai and Makkez ” ARticle elethenum polehiruke bro every week…..


    @ sactyr : I couldn’t have explained better myself brother even though I’m given another 10 years brother, Thanks again.


    @sri : I agree. But somehow her shot was way out of bulls eye.

  • Thumb up Thumb down -1

    Dani Filth,

    I have no clue what you’re trying to say in your second comment. English please.


    P/s: Cheers Durai!

  • Thumb up Thumb down -1

    Good one….totally agree with you….thankfully i know how to mix a drink and cook a bit : )

  • the truth

    Thumb up Thumb down +1


    Bro, im sorry if you felt tht i was targeting you or your sis, but i certainly did not mean that.

    As you’ve said,

    “but tell me, don’t you personally know many woman who cant cook either brother?”

    Of course ive come across MANY women whom can’t even cook Maggi Mee, but these women (not all of course) shouldn’t be judged based on their abilities to cook or run a house, because most of them are capable when it comes to things other thn cooking.

    The ability to cook, just like art and music doesn’t come naturally, it is something to be learned, practiced and mastered. Mothers from generations of yesteryears used to emphasize on cooking and cleaning when it comes to educating their young daughters, that was probably because professional working opportunities only came knocking for the males or the rich, and such living skills would be vital if you wanted to marry your daughter to a well-to-do/rich man.

    Things are very different now, i dont think you’ll disagree with me.

  • the truth

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    @ Dani filth

    No one is impressed with you or your language, which falls nothing short of being garbage. While you’re so into the mood for some ‘hardcore’ English, i suggest that you make an effort to contact a commentator here by the name of ‘asshole’ and give him some Language lessons. That way, you’ll be happy and we’ll be happy having one ‘asshole’ less on the loose.

  • anjali

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    Sorry Durai but i kind of agree with “Moog” and “the truth”. I can’t cook indian food well but i can bake fantastic cakes and cookies. Of course that wont feed my kids, but if i can earn well probaby i can get a chef to cook for me. After all it is not like i cant taste the food.
    I know u would say that is not targeted to me,but if u want to preserve the culture, i would point out the method Nithz said. To start from the family teaching Indian cultural values to children, not just for girls how to cook but for all children how to respect themselves and others. And also not discriminate gender when teaching how to cook or learning the art of Silambam, the age of gender roles differentiation is fading.
    Of course if a girl is unable to even make a cup of tea is humiliating, but it should not be because she is a girl but because she cant make tea, any race in that matter.(If a guy cant make a cup of tea, it is shameful too.)
    Again, i’m not saying u are wrong Durai, just that cooking should not be pinned on Indian women/ girl using culture. (My boyfriend’s brothers and father happen to put my mom’s cooking to shame. But i still like my mom’s cooking because it is what i have tasted since i was born, and because it is different not like normal indian cooking.)

    P/S: and the girls who say they like their mom’s cooking but cant cook at all are BIG FAT LIERS unless they are below 12.

  • VJeyaa

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    Some of the best cooks in the worlds are males. And that is no coincidence.

  • Woman

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    As long as you can feed your children with healthy food it is not necessary for you to know how to cook unless you want to learn how to cook because of interest or to impress your in laws or husband. These days women do a lot of things such as bringing back income other than cooking contrary to 1,000 years back where cooking is a major part in their life as they are not allowed to do anything who wants tea?

  • Renu

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

    I tought u goin to cook… emarthuthein pa..
    oni a cup of tea, nuh.. sure u can get it whn ur here..
    even i will cook lunch for u.. try panne redi ya.. :)

  • Sudha

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    Personally, I never learnt how to cook or stepped foot in the kitchen ( because grandmother and mother usually handled the kitchen department ) until I was 21. I didn’t start cooking because of anyone, I just grew the interest myself. And now, 2 years later, I am not too bad of a cook. :) But the usual drinks all I knew how to make since I was in primary school, I guess. And HEY, don’t bully your sister la, make your own cup of tea. ;)

  • Sudha

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

    Durai, I like how you honestly admitted that you could not quite understand what Dani Filth wrote. Most of us would have just acted smart! ;)

  • Kasvini

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    Hahahahah… it’s prohibited to cook in my hostel. But my friends and I did a quick survey.

    All my friends cook (Sabahans, Sarawakians, Semenanjung Chinese).
    Even the boys cook.

    We didn’t. We had one thing in common, we were too law-abiding. Orrr….. we were Indian girls?

    Ceh…. hahahaha.. no lar.. we could survive though. Cause today, cooking skills are a necessity. I mean, I don’t want our country to end up like the USA where parents who don’t cook end up feeding their kids junk until they have a 30 year lifespan. Healthy FOOD! That’s the secret to a healthy Nation! hahahhaa.. and it’s not that hard lar, got so many instant instant powders nowadays.

  • mel

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

    my mother hates when i walk in the kitchen , cause it somehow makes her uncomfortable, she didnt learn from her mum , she learns by herself , and she is a perfect cook. i can cook , and i learn my self, :D all that matters is the interest , and some trials and errors :)) cooking is fun , n seeing people enjoy ur cooking is even more fun :D


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