Good Guys/Bad Guys

It is without doubt that most of the girls in this world possess similar characteristics. Well, the same goes for guys. Growing up in different culture or religion even places would alter how a girl becomes when she grows up. If she grows up to be a good obedient woman, then it might be related to good parenting. But that might not be with the entire woman in the world, some might have good growing up years but end up being a killer instead. A second of frustration or anger can lead up to a very bad decision that would make someone to regret things for their whole life.

While I’m not interested with teaching you the basics of anger management here, I would like to touch something that most of us would have heard in our life. The thing that might have crossed your mind before this, or had seen your family members talking about it.

This brilliant topic came to me when one of my aunt visited my house the other day. When some far relatives come to your house, the usual thing that happens is they talk about marriages between this guy and that girl. And when it is about to be over, they would purposely draw down the good thing that the guy possess in order to get married. This would be done in front of you, which was me the other day, so that I would think, ok, so if I want to get married, this is how I should behave.

Let me explain down how this people think a guy should be to be a good guy.

Almost half of the people that I have met had said that a good guy shouldn’t smoke.

Let me give you a glimpse of the actual scene when the aunt requested my mother to look for a good guy for her daughter.

Aunty :  Payen pathekengge ka, cigerette thanni palakem irukereh mathiri vena.

Mom : Kandipa Selvi. Athe kavaleh padathingge. Nalla payanah pakeren.(While peeking a slight look at me)

Putting that into conclusion means a guy who do not smoke and drink is a good guy and he should be eligible for marriage. My mother looked at me with the obvious intention to get the message straight, if ever I’m going to get married, than I shouldn’t’ have those bad habits.

I was particularly annoyed. This can be debated with great length. I said to the aunty, what if the guys do not smoke and drink but he is a serial rapist? Or a man who abuses woman? How would you know that? That’s a fact. No one can guess how a person is without experimenting them. Marriage is obviously not something that you could experiment with. You catch my point?

It’s simply something that makes sense. Of course smoking and drinking harms you, but is that something that should be made as a scale meter to judge how a person is?

Of course not all the guys drink, and smoke. But hey, I’m defending the one that does that.

I asked my mother one more thing, if indeed guys who drink are bad, then how come she is married to my father? She draws a blank look and said, he started drinking after marriage. And I replied that means he got so pressured up after marriage that he starts drinking. Now she couldn’t answer.

She just started her usual routine of explaining to my aunty that how disobedient I had become after all this years of good parenting.

Of course I do understand that drinking is bad, but it shouldn’t be made a point when it comes to marriage. A person who do not smoke and drink doesn’t mean that they’re good. To their thinking, it’s simple, a person who does all those things are a bad person.

The person should be able to take care of the girl he is going to get married. He should be responsible and matured enough and willing to commit his life for the girl he is going to marry. OF course, the previous were more of an attitude than physical factor.

They’re some who would argue that a guy who drinks comes back home and beat their wife. Of course it happens, but what are the odds that he behaves like a complete gentleman if he do not drink? A man who abuses his wife has a cheap mentality, and it can’t be said that it was indeed caused by alcohol. My father drinks too, but he had never even slapped my mother. How do you explain that?

All right, different places different situation. We can talk and talk and talk .The point I would like to get across is, how a person behaves to the outside world shouldn’t be used as a scale meter to judge him. Putting it in words related to topic, a guy who smoke and drinks shouldn’t be put aside and relatively segregated from the guys who do not.

Why am I taking this length to explain this simple thing?

Of course, I want to get married. :)

24 comments to Good Guys/Bad Guys

  • kavy

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    gud one durai… don’t simply judge people…. :)

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    thr is no wrong in drinking or smoking as long u know the limit..just be yourselves..:)

  • MC Pavadai

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    Bro this is really an interesting topic 2 discuss… Yeah bro nw days they looking 4 guy who dun smoke n drink… but very part is r they can sure tht guy will keep his wife happy enuf??? i dun have 2 tell u wht bro, nowdays 75% of our kaigalz all drinking and smoking… the shocking thing is nwdays gals oso smoking n drinking… Bro i have seen gals pancung cigaretz (buy 1 n share wid their their frenz) hahaha… so we oso afta this muz look 4 gals who dun smoke n drink all… if not at first nite we have 2 mix liquor 4 them… ahaha.. Bro ipediye nelame pochina namalukku ponnu kidakima… hahah :D

  • Thumb up Thumb down +1

    of course ler girls want to marry with good guys a.k.a who doesnt smoke and drink ( like me )

    excesive smoking and drinking is extremely bad for health. according to scientific research ….

    heck ! smoking at all is bad for health .

    and it seems ppl who continue to smoke is errrr …. dumb? enough to smoke .. n of course … there is issue of impotence

    i guess girls or girls parent just dont want the girls to get married to impotent dumb? guys who going to die young anyway

    i think ever girls should marry me …. im good guy …..


    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    some/drink doesn’t shows one true attitude,for example some of our father smoke/drink , dose that mean he is bad.obama smokes too. if girl’s parent looking for a guy dose not smoke for health reason is acceptable but they said only bad guys smoke?drink tell them the tax we(who smoke/drink)pay though buying cigarette/alcoholic drink finance their daughter PTPTN loan.

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Ya it is bad to say everyone who smoke and drink are bad guys. Parents come to these conclusion after vidnessing “majority” family problems occur because of this kind of bad habits.

    The person should be able to take care of the girl he is going to get married. Im totally agree with these.

    Its not matter of a guy drink/smoke determine a guy good or bad. It is about how bad he addicted to this habits and it effects on his normal day to day life.

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    The most fuerked up part is, aunties of some girl (and the girl will be one slut) would want to find a good guy, educated and obedient. The btch would have sucked cock in different sizes and our poor good boy become mangsa. Appe avenge mattu bokana va?
    That will be their bad day if any uncle or aunty come and ask me about this good guy bad guy mappilai comparison..

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Bro Durai, that aunty sure got daunghter one…thats y wori so much….who noes u tackle her. lolx… but, she shudnt talk bad bout all the guys who drink and smoke… Everything got limit. U know the limit, sure u know the way to handle it… “kudikaran and Kudikaran Kuppah” is different, what. Anyway, drinks and cigarette nt good for health, especially cigarette.

    Ya!, nwdays girls smoking alot, guys shud aware bout this, even if a guys drink tiger beer, the girl would drink vodka lime or whiskey coke…(Fav of girls @ if beer, its Guinness Stout) emmm, Enna kodumai sir ithu!

    Good boy? no smoke @ alcohol? if he is Playboy hw? think about it. Good boy would have more girl friends ryt? girls want good boy wat..emmmmm

    forget about it and Dun wori bro, I wish, u will marry by next 2yrs. haha…

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Nampaknyer ade orang dah ade kalyanam aasai :P
    Totally agreed. I dunno why lar these Indian aunties like this. Its even worse when you are a girl you know. Everything you do is wrong.Laugh pun salah tau. Athukku oru pepatah irukum vere. Haiyo Haiyo! Susah betulla kan…. =D Thank God my grandparents are not like that. Kekeke

    p/s: Dont worry lar….you sure will get a nice ponnu wan…

  • Asshole

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    If the bastard is millionaire I’m sure everything will be OK for the girls parents. Everyone is just a big hypocrite.

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    @kavy : How true kavy :)

    @gowri sangkari : Athevum serithan…:)

    @MC Pavadai : Girls pancung cigarette ah…emadiyoh..ini memang dasyat ni…lol..namaleke anthe mathiri pone kadecha cigerette seleveh michem bro..hahaaaa..

    @obi wan kenobi : Bro, all the girls you sapu means I membujang la nanti…bagilah kat kita pun..:) : What an example brother! Haa..:)Cheers bro..

    @townguy : Agreed with you brother..

    @rujjcoomarh : “he btch would have sucked cock in different sizes and our poor good boy become mangsa.” Hahahahaha…yen bro inthe kovem…hahahahaaha…lol…semmeh dasyat ayat pongge..

    @Theeyes05 : Lol, anthe daughter konjem damage than, so I wont tackle la bro..hehehehe

    @-coolvaneegurl- : Oh, takde takde..kalyanem asaiyeh pochi vareh vareh pongge..hehehehe..thanks for the wishes anyway:)

    @ Asshole: Agreed, you’ve not come in for a while now but at least you said something reasonable when you came in at last.

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    LOL @ rujj’s commment. :D

    Yea bro, some of the aunties already have their mindset set so that guys who drinks and smokes are kette payenengge… Haihz… Not forgetting those who talks a lot of bad words and saittu adikeran other girls. If they are to find a really good boy, I don’t think such boy exist lar bro..

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Yenna bro panerethe.. experience thaa.. heheheh

  • Asshole

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    ya durai I know I never post so long but I’ve been reading your posts all this while. And I want you to know that although before this I always post rude stuffs, I think you’re an ok fellow. Your heart in the right place. Still it has been fun. Agreed?

    ps – high five!

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Oh, takde takde..kalyanem asaiyeh pochi vareh vareh pongge


  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    well..oh common ..ya the guy dun smoke n drink ..but he’s one fuckin womanizer or sexual abuser ..hws tht …am one girl who drinks n smokes too….n my kinda of guy also must be like me…mutual understanding …there’s no any terms as ‘ur a good guy bcause ur dunt drink ..nor smoke ‘or ‘ur a good girl bcause ur still virgin’..its all in our mind ,our thinking n concept….if every parents are gonna wait till they get one good guy like tht or one good girl like tht …no marriages in earth …trust me …n after all its human rights drink n smoke …like wat sum of fellow frens commented its inside us as we know the limits …and to the aunties n uncles out there ..betta prepare sum application forms with columns on drinking,smoking,virginity and etc…actually sum already requested medical reports….so durai ..hit to the nearest clinic.. :)

  • Asshole

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    Hey Durai, I don’t which bastard is this. Hey new asshole, use another nick you stupid fuck!!!

    July 23rd, 2009 at 2:58 am

    ya durai I know I never post so long but I’ve been reading your posts all this while. And I want you to know that although before this I always post rude stuffs, I think you’re an ok fellow. Your heart in the right place. Still it has been fun. Agreed?

    ps – high five!)

  • Asshole

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    Hey, I’m the real Asshole, retard. Donno where u came from. I’ve been posting here for a long time, saying stupid things and never making a point. But now I realised that I was wrong.. I want to be different.

    I want to… change.

  • amages

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    Bro, when start looking for alliance most of d parents looks for guy/girl which have good character. This term good includes a person who dun drink and a person who dun smoke. A person physical appearance now days is important to determine whether he is good or bad by the person that looking for alliance for their child. It is more exposed to others and your family when u smokes and drinks so they come to conclusion who ever smokes and drinks are bad.

    The most fucking part is they dun care other aspect of a person such as whether d person able to take care the girl well, responsible to run a family, matured and most important is willingness to trust the girl no matter what and committed his life for her.

    Let say they find a good guy in their term, and marrying the girl with the guy and the marriage life breaks up in half way, the parents of the girl got reason to be told to others which is “Motha antha paiyan nalla tan irunthan entha nathari kannu pattuchu avan innoru ponna pathutan/intha mathiri pannitan. Avan Nasama poyiduvan alinju poyiduvan”

    They fail to realize their daughter’s life screwed up because of them and nothing going to happen by cursing the guy who did it. In other word can say their daughter life fucked up by their parents itself.

    Like u said the topic as no ending if we want to talk further. Just want to say 1 thing to all the parents that looking for alliance to their daughter/son “dun judge a book by its cover but judge by the content”…..

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    what if the guys do not smoke and drink but he is a serial rapist?
    hahahx!!i lyk sentence!!

  • arasi

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    durai, hope u dn’t mind if me use sm space of ur blog to xpress views. generally girls hv the following choices of guys 1. gud character wt bad habit 2. bad character wt bad habits 3. gud character wt gud habit. i think v can agree tat addiction to smk, drinks, drugs r some examples of bad habits. most guys will claim tat they r in group 1 while they may actually be in gr. 2. girls wl know tat much later in the relationship. some girls though wl still choose gr. 2 bcos their heart ruled their mind, err….not desperate bt believed bfs are a must have…gr.3 non-issue..

  • Angel

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    so true… even guys who dun hv any any bad habits have da capabilities to break a gal life apart and i aso have seen guys with drinking and smoking habits have gud hearts… its just their habit is bad not their character….

    • A-style man

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      wakakakka agreee madam,nowdays engge ge sonna kekurange…when a guy smokes drinks or hang out with frens all…they call him poriki..but indeeds he is a gud guy…but this guy who looks smarts and “behave” like decent tipe,gurls will say he is a matured man lar bla bla bla all…anna,as how ther will always be udang di sebalik mee,he will b d black musang compare to d one the call “poriki”….(not all d guys and gurls are like this) please dun get em wrong

      • angel

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        a-style man.. i didnt say evryone is like tat… so far, based on my experience, i hv seen both type… for me thr is no saint of devil in tis world… all person hv hv gud and bad in themselves… its oni matter of choice of wat da person choose to b……


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