It is without doubt that most of the girls in this world possess similar characteristics. Well, the same goes for guys. Growing up in different culture or religion even places would alter how a girl becomes when she grows up. If she grows up to be a good obedient woman, then it might be related to good parenting. But that might not be with the entire woman in the world, some might have good growing up years but end up being a killer instead. A second of frustration or anger can lead up to a very bad decision that would make someone to regret things for their whole life.
While I’m not interested with teaching you the basics of anger management here, I would like to touch something that most of us would have heard in our life. The thing that might have crossed your mind before this, or had seen your family members talking about it.
This brilliant topic came to me when one of my aunt visited my house the other day. When some far relatives come to your house, the usual thing that happens is they talk about marriages between this guy and that girl. And when it is about to be over, they would purposely draw down the good thing that the guy possess in order to get married. This would be done in front of you, which was me the other day, so that I would think, ok, so if I want to get married, this is how I should behave.
Let me explain down how this people think a guy should be to be a good guy.
Almost half of the people that I have met had said that a good guy shouldn’t smoke.
Let me give you a glimpse of the actual scene when the aunt requested my mother to look for a good guy for her daughter.
Aunty : Payen pathekengge ka, cigerette thanni palakem irukereh mathiri vena.
Mom : Kandipa Selvi. Athe kavaleh padathingge. Nalla payanah pakeren.(While peeking a slight look at me)
Putting that into conclusion means a guy who do not smoke and drink is a good guy and he should be eligible for marriage. My mother looked at me with the obvious intention to get the message straight, if ever I’m going to get married, than I shouldn’t’ have those bad habits.
I was particularly annoyed. This can be debated with great length. I said to the aunty, what if the guys do not smoke and drink but he is a serial rapist? Or a man who abuses woman? How would you know that? That’s a fact. No one can guess how a person is without experimenting them. Marriage is obviously not something that you could experiment with. You catch my point?
It’s simply something that makes sense. Of course smoking and drinking harms you, but is that something that should be made as a scale meter to judge how a person is?
Of course not all the guys drink, and smoke. But hey, I’m defending the one that does that.
I asked my mother one more thing, if indeed guys who drink are bad, then how come she is married to my father? She draws a blank look and said, he started drinking after marriage. And I replied that means he got so pressured up after marriage that he starts drinking. Now she couldn’t answer.
She just started her usual routine of explaining to my aunty that how disobedient I had become after all this years of good parenting.
Of course I do understand that drinking is bad, but it shouldn’t be made a point when it comes to marriage. A person who do not smoke and drink doesn’t mean that they’re good. To their thinking, it’s simple, a person who does all those things are a bad person.
The person should be able to take care of the girl he is going to get married. He should be responsible and matured enough and willing to commit his life for the girl he is going to marry. OF course, the previous were more of an attitude than physical factor.
They’re some who would argue that a guy who drinks comes back home and beat their wife. Of course it happens, but what are the odds that he behaves like a complete gentleman if he do not drink? A man who abuses his wife has a cheap mentality, and it can’t be said that it was indeed caused by alcohol. My father drinks too, but he had never even slapped my mother. How do you explain that?
All right, different places different situation. We can talk and talk and talk .The point I would like to get across is, how a person behaves to the outside world shouldn’t be used as a scale meter to judge him. Putting it in words related to topic, a guy who smoke and drinks shouldn’t be put aside and relatively segregated from the guys who do not.
Why am I taking this length to explain this simple thing?
Of course, I want to get married.