Figure It Out

This post is not written to offend any of you, pictures in this post is taken randomly and displayed here in relation with the context of the post. The topic is discussed in a matter of general opinion, and is based on what most people do. It does not specify or target a certain group of people.

When it comes to talking about love and relationship, it had always been interesting. In fact, most of my earlier topics had revolved around gunning down those who thinks love is so divine and getting fucked at young age is called love. When I start denying and stressing that love is something beyond that, bullets started to fly around opposing my thoughts. It happens to be most of these bullets were fired from the young sluts from Friendster.

I’ve talked about this once, many years back, when I was just learning to write. Perhaps at that time, I did not have much word to put in, or shall I say ideas didn’t flow well. Now since writing had become such an easy thing, and also had become a dangerous thing for me too(since I’ve noticed an increase of family members reading my blog), I will write about it again, and this time let’s see how the responses are.

The topic is pretty much simple. I’ve seen hundreds of quotes and one liner, poems, essays and so much more on how love is defined. Please remember that I would focus specifically on relationship between a girl and a guy, or guy-guy or girl-girl. All of them seem to be agreeing on one thing in common, love is blind. See, when it comes to life, love is in fact, not blind.

It’s eye-catching to see 14 year old young girls trying their best to  one liners in Facebook craving for some attention, but when it comes to practical life, it just doesn’t suit you.

I would narrow down the discussion. Be honest with me, guys, when it comes to a relationship, looks or character comes first? Looks can be defined here as how the person looks like, I mean outer appearance. Character on the other hand can be defined as how the person behaves and his/her attitude.

Now, I would most definitely receive a majority response of:

“Of course Durai, no matter what you might think, love is not at all about looks”

Well, of course, I would receive that kind of response from most of the girls. What about the guys then?

Be honest, lets put it this way. Let’s say a Mohana is walking in front of you, say below picture:

What would you think?

Hmmm, iveh kadecha epedi irukum. Kalyanem panni settle than.
Namake ipedi ore gf iruntha nalah irukum.

See, now I would get as honest as possible, it’s not like guys do not go for girls with characters, but I think outer looks makes the best impression before the guy settles for anything else. Of course, every guy wants the hottest chick to be their girlfriend, and I’ve certainly seen it , so have you.

I’ll be frank, as I’ve always been. Let’s say the below girl has got the best characters in the world, the kindest, and she loves you wholeheartedly. Would you accept her?

How many of you? See, deep down you, there would be something that stops you. How are you going to introduce her to your friends? Wouldn’t it be embarrassing? Yes, of course, looks plays such an important role.

On the other hand, if you were to tell me that girls do not go for looks, then I would agree. Girls are exactly the opposite, they do not really go for looks, but it’s the ‘other’ thing that matters.

There is saying that goes like this:

“If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything”

Although the liner sounds like making a girl look like a very cheap thing, but indeed that is not what it intended. It is one of the reasons why girls like guys. Girls (majority of them ) do not go for looks, but goes for the other qualities that the guy possess.

They’re also very concerned about the guy’s future, or how much ‘figure’ he earns or has inside his bank account.

But guys on the other hand, puts up stupid lame quotes all over Facebook and Friendster stating that all they want is a homely girl, character important , and you know; all that sort of bullshit.

The problem with some young girls is, they sometimes over react when it comes to selecting their guy:

“Avere pichakarenah iruntha kudeh paraveleh, manase nala iruntha pothum”

Dei thangachi, pichakareneh kalyanem pani piche edeke poriyah?

In short:

I can conclude:

Guys goes for “figure” (body shape, looks)
Girls also goes for “figure” (money, stability).

What are you looking for?

24 comments to Figure It Out

  • ecko

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    I’d say i’ll go for both….lool
    can’t just have the looks but behave like a b*tch rite?…lool

  • Renu

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    OMG whr u get that picture pa?????
    The lady look scary la….
    Yeah ur right.. i will go for quality first, thn only look…:)
    “If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything” its not applied for all girls….

  • Thumb up Thumb down +1

    im looking for NAMITHA !!!

    or any girl that will jump into bed n leave me alone the next morning

    n of course , ‘gift’ and ‘treats’ will be generously given by me …..

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    oooooooOOOooo My kinda topic. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe in some cultures that women is considered beautiful. After all beauty cannot be measured. But what I cant stand is that most Indian guys wanna score girls who look like models.Even if the girl is a fucked up bitch. Happened to many of my friends…….and I also dun understand what is sooo wrong if you fall in love with a guy who is poorer than you. When will they realize that even that even if you want you do beg on the streets, it makes a whole lot of difference if you are doing it with your loved ones rather than someone you do not like.

    Marriages are made in heaven. I belief that. I am just so sick and tired of trying to get a boyfriend so that I can experience the filmy romanticness!! Now I realize that I shouldnt waste my time trying to fall in love when I am already surrounded by the love of GOD and my family!! That is the love that is purest and most trustworthy!!

    Sorry got a bit carried away!! Too much of bitter experiences I guess. Well what can you expect for a girl who is not pretty anyway!!

    hmmmmm….neway…Durai, to answer your question, I am looking for an Indian guy, who has a a big enough heart to plan a charity, a strong enough heart to make it come true, a conscious heart towards the society, and owns a blog called and has a witty and charming sense of humor….do you by any chance know him???

    Hahahahahahahaha!! Just kidding!! Don’t get freaked out…..


  • Geetha

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    Interesting topic…well i think beauty is only temporary. A person can look hot today and two or three years later look like an overgrown papaya if they dont take good care of their appearance. At the same time, a person who looks like the pic above can do some personal grooming and look hot in two or three years time. A piche karre can work hard and come up in live if he wants to. See my point here?? Nothing is certain. End of the day its your personal values and character that will determine your future.

    However, a lot of guys do go for looks and A LOT of girls do go for money and stability (seen one extreme case among my own circle of friends..dropped her bf of two years like a hot potato as soon as an engineer (with a car and house) proposed to her…yuckyX3 !!!). Its the sad truth..

    @coolvaneegurl: i like the last part of your comment…hope you meet your dream guy very soon.. *winkwink*…jkjk..:P

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    @Geetha: Thanx a heap girl… =D

  • Nedu

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    Saya budak baik….amma pakkere ponnu mattumthan kalyana pannikeven….hahahah

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    I wont look for anything. :P
    Namakku intha kaathal kalyanam pathi laam yosikke time eh ille mama. c u aah.. me still chinna ponnu. :D
    Definitely QUALIFICATION is very important for selecting a person as our life partner. And the qualification is differ from each individual.
    For example, some guys very dark. They want some fair girls. Some girls not highly educated, and they will expect good earning guy. so in this matter we cant really give a summary.

    What i can say is, whatever it is, please select a right person. Don’t regret later. Even though appearance is important in life, but that is NOT WHOLE LIFE. As long the word ADJUSTMENT is exist, we can survive in this world. :P

    COOLVANEEGURL: hahahahahha aku tidak bleh tahan ketawa. i think i noe the person la. is that his name end with KUMAR? — chumma oru wild guess.

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0


    Very interesting topic. Now, i do agree that guys goes for figure. But tell me, when you settle down, what do you go for? U go for a lady best suits your family added with Indian values & cultures and enriched with all the good qualities that you mum hunts for. I had seen so many gyus flirts to the max before they got married. End of the day, they settle down nicely with good ladies(not bitches of coz!). Correct me if i am wrong.

    Same goes to girls. Most of them look for a guy who are stable in life, has everything (in terms of property of coz)& so on. So, thats called life. Life is full of expectation & it will never seems to be the way we want it most of the time. It’s up to each individual on how they want to live it the best way they can (including being in a relationship).

    Fyi, i am in a relationship. When i got attached, he was having nothing wih him. But things changed & he began to understand his commitment towards the life we gona live up later. And within a year, we bought a beautiful house together & renovated it to our choice. Now we have everything in life & is waiting to settle down nicely. Sometimes, i believe in LUCK. And i thank God for bringing Him into my life.

    Nandri Vanakam :)

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Ellame ore maaye bro. Humans are never satisfied.

    Guys will say I dont care about looks I just want a nice girl. One day he will get a not so pretty girl but one damn nice girl. He will be ok in the beginning bcoz the love is new but eventually when he start seeing some hot indian chick, his dick will stand. What else he will find reasons to lie to the girl, argue and fight etc etc. Then he will tell all his kaiges that girls are all the same and all of them will sing anjaleh song, or ithe ore kaalam alagiya kaalam.

    On the other side, girls will say love is all they need, dont care about looks. For instance a girl get a bf like Senthil, they will be ok but later when start seeing someone who looks like Arya and with good money, kerang kindom. They will start creating stories that the guy cheats, and put up note in Friendster and facebook. Then eventually they will tell all the sogem kathe to a so-called nice guy, Mr.Opandi. Then this Opandi will eventually play nice guy and fuck the girl and call it friendship. Then we will have the same girl commenting Guys are jerks, Guys are cheaters, Guys are this and that in :P

    So ikkereki akkaere patche kathe thaan…yaare naa kuthem solle?

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Gotta agree bro that no matter what, guys would prioritize the looks/figure of pilengge first. But as for guys who are heart-broken or just broke up with their gf, they would tend to ‘fall’ for any girls who would be his ‘opari’ companion and eventually, kathal thanave valerom bro marupediyum.

    Frankly speaking, as long as there are girls who crave for ‘money’ from guys and guys who crave for ‘savadi figure’ from girls, we can see these people coupling and breaking up very often bro. There won’t be such thing as ‘true love’ for them.

    Some girls are like DiGi : “Switch to the smarter side”

    While some guys are like Celcom : “Offering you the widest coverage”

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    @viji: Thnx girl. I think your “wild guess” might be rite….You know him ar? Konjum intro pannegela…kekekeke…

    High 5 girl!!

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    It’s the reality bro..good post.

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    “Guys goes for “figure” (body shape, looks)
    Girls also goes for “figure” (money, stability)”
    i like this.. hahaha!

  • realist

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    Durai, good topic …

    some may be dying for a blue-eyed blond & not get one …but may be happy and content every moment of their life with the simple girl beside them.
    some may get the blue-eyed blond but end up serving life term; torturous life. On the other hand, some may wish for a simple partner; in looks, wealth etc but get not only a gorgeous/Surya kinda of good looks but with good heart and manners as well (bonuslah). To think of it, is it beyond our control although we think we are in control of ourselves …I am sharing this with you from my years of experience & observation…..

  • Rapunzelle

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    WELL…remind me of a girl (not pretty and damn plump) fall deeply in love wif a good lookin guy.went all da way to another country (she doesnt know ny1 except him).he never takes her out,doesnt intro her 2 his frens n family just bcause of her LOOKS n FIGURE.he ill treats her,hit her violently till hospitalized…n so she left tht S.O.B..n dropped the case.( the guy got family 2 support) ..n she still can b good hearted….the end..

    nowadays from the stage kindergarden to marriage LOOKS associates in every aspect of lives.from findin a job,gettin a new fren,being invited to cool parties or functions..LOOKS matters the most no need to say bout love n marriage la…
    nowadays its not called TRUE LOVE..but we have options likE ONLINE LOVE,MOBILE LOVE,ONE NITE LOVE,NO COMMITMENT LOVE,LUST LOVE,DOG LOVE,BITCH LOVE..etc..MONEY values a human’s path of life from low profile 2 high profile…n STABILITY…either u live in a 2 room flat or posh 5 room condo.

    we’re livin in a world “NO MONEY NO HONEY,NO WORK NO LIFE,NO FUCK NO LOVE,NO STATUS NO TALK,NO WOMAN NO CRY,NO MAN NO WOMAN DIES..hehe …. i am lookin for a GUY who can loves like a italian,romances like a french,clubs like a mexican,smiles like a hawaiian,behaves like a canadian,smells good like a swedish,clean as a german,earns like an american (negotiable),holy like a nepalese,eats like a irish and LOOKS LIKE AN AFRICAN BORN RED INDIAN….ohh ya n must be free thinker….ANYBODY KNOWS…hehe ..

  • Rapunzelle

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    @-coolvaneegurl- : nice 1 la, hmm tht guy has good look in
    mind..all da best .
    @obi wan kenobi: well i do look like namitha n sure can leave
    u alone DEAD the next mornin…so spare
    tht gifts n treats 4 ur funeral la….hehe
    @makkez : wat bout maxis? :)

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    @Rapunzelle: Oh! You know dat guy too? Everybody seems to know that guy lar….haiseh man…..ekekekeke… was just for fun….neway thnx gal….

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    hihi…most guys & girls go 4 looks, money..etc etc rather than goin 4 de things tat matters..4 de time being yeah..they might go 4 it but wen times flies by, they will soon realise it, that tings like tat doesnt matter…4 sum ppl, de look cn gv them de satisfaction..other may look 4 other qualities…it differs wit ppl, age,…i myself dunt even know what type of guy i like coz im nt looking 4 mayb wen the time cums 4 me..than i can assume..mayb…

    Guys goes for “figure” (body shape, looks)
    Girls also goes for “figure” (money, stability).

    on majorities, it is true…

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Hmmm, iveh kadecha epedi irukum. Kalyanem panni settle than.
    Namake ipedi ore gf iruntha nalah irukum–YES truly i agree some people will think tiz way whn a hot girl walks by.wonder y lot tamil movies scenes like tiz.A pretty gal walks by wearing white chudithaar like angel then a guy will fall deeply in love.he dont know anything abt tiz gal,she can be married,she can be playgirl,drug addict,hv aids or she can be really bad girl in any way but still looks wins find a girlfriend is very easy but to decide someas as lifepartner only looks not enough.4 a matured relationship understanding,friendship,true love and care is very important than all tiz.whn ur 80 the sexy gal u married is wont be the same anymore if u able to hold her hands and say i love u as the same way u said in early 20’s thts wht love is.the gal in the pic above can be changed 2 aishwarya rai by plastic surgery.anything is possible now.ask any goodlooking gal hw much she spend per month for beauty care threading,hair blow,facial,make up,skin care products and stuffs.people who born with natural beauty also doin something 2 look good.all tiz r fake can be made.but inner beauty is something cant be made by surgery its comes frm way v grown up,family,culture and the way v choose 2 live.yup v do get attracted by figure/figure but 1 day v will surely realise its not only thing that enough 4 happy and peaceful life.

    “Avere pichakarenah iruntha kudeh paraveleh, manase nala iruntha pothum”

    -right no1 wud wan marry a beggar if a gal fall in love wit picakaren so sure thr is sumthing great abt him tht attracts her.ur ques is right Dei thangachi, pichakareneh kalyanem pani piche edeke poriyah? if thr is true love thn she can make him turn into rich..its possible!she can make him get a job and live a proper life.magic of love is not only ilaiyaraja music around,lights on up in head,spark..its also magic of giving a positive changes 2 sum1s also allows sum1 be responsible of himself and loved 1s.its all depends on the way v see things.just my point of view.

  • priti

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    hi bro..totally agree with the topic…but sumthg to add for guys..when in loving stage, they prefer a girl with good look,sexy, hot ++ but when comes to marriage life they prefer more homely, caring and loving person and can respect elders.. but for girls more likely looks at your pocket first..but it doesnt apply to all…jangan ambek hati kakak2 kat luar…but tats true wat!

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    @ecko : Athe rite…

    @Renu : Cheers dear

    @obi wan kenobi : Most of the guys prefer like that la bro i think…hhehehe

    @-coolvaneegurl- : Haaaaa, eneke appeh la kadesiyah.

    @Geetha : Ninggeluma support vereyah…

    @Nedu : Susah nak cari budak macam u la sekarang bro..hehehe

    @viji : Rasathi, niyuma?

    @Nithz: I’m happy for you Nithz, you’re living proof then on what a relationship can do in your life:)

    @rujjcoomarh : “when start seeing someone who looks like Arya and with good money, kerang kindom. ”

    Bro, another super liner bro…hahahahahahahaha. I cant stop laughing reading that la bro…super oh super…

    @Makkez : Adedadadada, bro, mobile network verikum sudah bawa ka..dasyat bro ningge..hehehe

    @triple s : thanks brother..

    @realist : Thanks for sharing realist, definitely helps when it comes from experience.

    @Rapunzelle : I know your story comes through experience, and thanks for sharing. But the guy with the criteria ur expecting, erm, eneke therile, rombe difficult pongge.So many countries involved.hehehehe

    @gowri sangkari : Well nathi, words can sometimes be very beautiful to be seen, but when it comes to implementation in life , it is not as what we think. Marrying a pichakaren for an example and turning him into what you’re saying with the power of love, by far, is none I’ve seen. This are hard facts. Unless you can prove otherwise.

    @priti : Well said girl…Cheers dear..

  • Kasvini

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    well.. I think… I think of something a person I know told me.

    She said, “In our community, no matter how educated, how noble, how rich or how capable you are, ponnu pakka varum pothu, they will ask one thing: Caste?”


    Then, the person said, “Ippedi yevanavuthu kettanu vetchika, vodane “Kelambu!!” sollidru.” No matter which kombu he is and which bigshot’s child he is.

    That’s one way to look at it.


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