Indians and their Stunts

You know, ace, it’s not like something unusual if I start talking about Indians girls. Or guys. Well, most of my ‘hit’ topics and articles revolve around this niche. People love when you talk shits about other people.

It’s been sometime since we’ve talked about something controversial in this blog. To update you about the current happenings, I’m currently ‘conducting’ a real life experiment, using real ‘products’, and the result should be coming in one of the upcoming articles. Now, let’s talk about something amusing.

I constantly get hungry after my usual porn watching session, thus I decided today that I should go and grab something to eat. Fast food seemed to be the best option, and there I was parking my car in front of KFC. Since it’s Christmas eve, you can expect all the Indian Machans to be around with their “Honda’s” (EX5), ramming and doing stunts around in a desperate need of attention.

And to remind you, I live in Taman Sentosa, Klang where we have abundant lots of these attention seekers. Of course, there were plenty of Indian chicks, which I wonder why. It’s like the most wrong place to be on earth at that time. Yet there were plenty of them.

I walked by this bunch of young Indian guys, all of them drinking heavily in front of the restaurant, while some of them are already in their bikes doing miracle circus stunts. I was not really surprised, just in front of them, there were few Indian girls sitting and having their meal. The girls were clearly freaked out, while this Indian Machans continued to show extraordinary bike handling skills, which was, absolutely totally pathetic. I didn’t pay much attention, because if I did, I would know for sure they would further go and impress the girls by making me a comedian. Worst still, I might have my balls busted just for staring at them. I’m no Tamil film hero and I can’t jump 300 meters from building to building. So, I thought I should just shut the fuck up.

I thought about this; and I’m writing this right after coming back. In order to gain attention, these guys are actually looking damn pathetic, and I’m pretty sure the girls’ feels the same way too, except for the Kambethe retards who falls for this trick. Let us talk about the most pathetic thing Indian guys do in order to gain attention:

1. Motorbike skills: This is of course, the most common and by far the easiest way in order to gain attention. They learn how to handle bikes without touching the handle, how to ‘willy’, how to do a ‘Superman’, or perhaps something like how to die without dignity. Most of the guys end up under a van, while the lucky survivors can be seen in the emergency room. All this are precisely portrayed in some of the Tamil films too, in which the heroine’s falls in love looking at how this dicks handles their bike. Buy a car la Macha, at least that would impress the girls. What the fuck pundae show you want to do with a bike?

Above pictures depicts Indian Machans in their bikes

2. Gangster Paradise: If you’re a girl, go up into a restaurant or any other public place and stand beside a bunch of ‘karat’ Indian Machans. The only thing they would start talking about is about which secret society group they’re involved in, how many ‘caps’ they’ve gained from street fighting, and how they were so much involved in the fight that happened at Taman Klang Jaya, Klang a week back. All of them would be particularly interested to talk about the violent life they’re leading, and how much fights they’ve had. They would love to boast about only one thing, their gangsterism filled life. Some of them even maintain ‘cool’, to show that they do not want to show off la. Ade thui, pundae.

3. Smoking in public: This is of course, a tactic that had been practiced since the days of like Shah Jahan shall I say. ; Practically the most common and easiest way to look pathetic, they smoke up whenever they see an Indian girl. You know how Indian girls throw up a look whenever they see a guy smoking, which indirectly arouses this guy to have his orgasm of the day.

4. I’m a Nigga : This is practically practiced in most of the high-town areas such as Bangsar, Hartamas, Bukit Bintang or some  other related areas. This bunch of  Machans are ‘rempits’ back at their own ‘kampung’, they dress up like a  bloody Nigga, travel in a Kancil equipped with the cheapest subwoofer they can find in town, and blast their way through the roads. People practically might go ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ wondering where the sound is coming from, and they vomit out everything they’ve drank after they watch 6 Indian guys cram a Perodua Kancil blasting their way through the streets. They mostly get influenced watching MTV, or Hitz.TV; or sometimes word of mouth. They wear pants that could fill three of me inside, and their shirt practically covers their dick all the way to sometimes below their knee, which makes them look like a pregnant pondans.

I just finished my bottle and I’m already feeling sober. If you have any, please go on…


20 comments to Indians and their Stunts

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    its the truth yet the guys dont get it..but seriously, its fun to see them like that..ahahahha..nice post!!

  • nith.

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    Dear santa, somehow or rather this is my wish on behalf of RagedIndian readers.. It goes like this.

    Dear santa, Durai has been a very brialliant blogger and has touched many of the young generations today. We yearn to read this post daily cos somehow, he blogs about things other people dont dare about. Okay, enough of bragging done. I’ll get to my point.
    Please Santa tata, bring those Indian dicks to arrive here and read these posts. And then give them the spirit of excellence to understand what an Indian should be, and not become a ‘karat’ day after day. Specially those who need attention that tend to do those crazy-ass stunts, touch those lives. :) & Maybe, touch the life of those karat’s so that they’ll stop wearing clothes that can fit 3 of Durai into it. & Rather donate that cash to some people in need.

    I know santa, its a lot to ask. But please help.
    Thank you.

  • nith.

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    oops, few errors there. dont mind them. :)

  • Geetha

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    ROTFL !!! nicely said!!! hate those fellas….try my very best to avoid them…although sometimes i wish i can just tell them that they are soooooooo stupid and pathetic and get away with it..haha…bt like u said this is not tamil movie where one can fly from one building to another…so ill just say ‘idiots’ under my breath and walk away… Great comment Nith….

  • inba2004k

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    the indian niggah part reminds me of a track on the rabbit ma carrots album bout how everyone thinks they can wear huge-ass pants n become rappers..

    anyways merry christmas..
    do drink lots and post more entertaining pieces.

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    You know, when I go to mamak shops sometimes at late in the morning (3am or 4am), i see those karat machas…. talking like they’ve conquered mount everest…. picking a fight with the waiters coz their nasi lemak is not pedas enuf… threatening to shove the plate into the waiter’s face…. haiyoooo….

    i seriously wonder what is going on in their minds…. periya paruppa?

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    panassss kaigaaaa turunnne~~

  • Kugan

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    The machans are everywhere and the numbers of “niggas” are reaching thier all time high, not only in high end places as mentioned by Durai but also in rural areas as far as Changloon (Kedah).

    Ask some of them on thier knowledge about the rap scene and they could mention only the over commercialized 50 Cent, Eminem (pronounced amanam)and the high end ones would know about Tupac but none of his songs..LOL

    What really tickle my ribs is that when those wannabes try hard to slang talk, and they end up like a constipated Chris Tucker..LOL

  • ApRiL

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    hahahaaa..the apes picture above really funny man…whatever kugan mentioned above bloody true…seen lots of them at my place…sigh…niggas wanna be!!! lolz~

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    machi…every guys hav tis dumb mind set which tells them 2 do tis stupid things 2 impress their same gender or the oposite gender…they doin it coz no guidence…same as wat u said…askin 2 get a car??? wats the point?? do the same shit style n nonsense but by usin cars?? u cant give advise on tis matter…they wil neva listen…if u tel them…they wil ask u back…”WTF is ur prob!!!!” so let them 2 be as wat they wana b…some wil undstnd by ownself, some wil undstnd if some1 advise, some wil undstnd when they KENA 4 theirselves, some wil neva undstnd til some1 hit them wit baseball stick n ask them “WIL U STOP DOIN TAT STUPID STUNTS OR NOT!!!!”…so fuck those lame mutha fuckers!!!they not gonna stop til they learn the lesson!!!

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    @nith.: Thanks Nith, that was so kind of you :) and very inspiring :)

    @DeadManWalkin : We studied in the same college ? I’m sorry bro, but I cant recall. Ningge yareh?

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    why cant u ppl just let others just do whatever they want …. i guess indians will only be happy with each other when you all wear penguin suit and walk in a line …

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    @obi wan kenobi : Brother, I don’t get it why are you being so ‘critical’ in my blog lately? Anything personal? I have much respect for the way you write, and if you can’t look at humor in my writings like how I look at yours, then I guess we both will be battling out unnecessarily .

  • lizard

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    dead man walking is noy your college mate brotha..
    he is ya school mate..
    Police ravi…. hehehehe

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    @ durai : haha simply nie .. if everyone agree with you tak syok rite .. now i take turn to be ‘bad guy’ hahahah … and happy new year everyone

  • MC Pavadai

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    Hahax bro im frm sentosa oso… I saw all the super duper stunts by our machanz in sentosa… :D

  • Rapunzelle

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    aiyoo…every time i go back hometown can see all this stunt shows in front of my house…actually attention seekers but they aint harmless.sumtimes its fun to see them in action like tht for laughs…and the subwoofered cars can be really annoying..they all sit in groups..each group in every corner of the shops..and if any outsider come into da taman n site addikiran da chicks..thts it fight..fight,,fight… :)

  • freak of nature....

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    those typicalz ass holez cnt even pull a single strand of hair…bt talkin lyk da father ownz da country….screw up tiz pathetic self-proclaimed gangstaz,…..

  • A Malaysian who is called Pendatang =D

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    And one more thing to add here, these typical machans will upgrade there cheap bike with fuckin annoying loud exhaust pipe sound… This loud sound irritates me n people in my taman. Sometimes i even curse at them to get banged by lori…>.<

  • dave

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    dude, you’ve forgotten the hairstyle and the piercing they do. please do write on these things as well, these moronish people have to seriously need to learn not to humiliate other Indians there is in public with such of immoral act they portray in nowadays daily life.

x

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