How to be An Indian Gangster

It has been a horrifying past 2 weeks with so many deaths happening for our Macha community. As usual, a few more Indian guys had orgasm, slashed each other and died. Here’s how one died.

“A college student paid with his life for asking a man not to rev up his car engine in the middle of the night near a pub in Krystal Point, Bayan Baru.

R. Navintheran, 24, was slashed at least 18 times by the man with a knife and died two hours later at a private hospital here.

His girlfriend and several friends, who were at the scene, could only watch in horror during the 3.30am incident.”

So tell me, who moved the first piece? It was the victim. I’m not supporting the criminal here. If only right after drinking, you shut the fuck up about what others do, bring your own girlfriend home , screw each other and fall asleep , you will live to see the next day. I’ve repeated this a thousand times, being a coward under certain circumstances will save your life. Stop being a Tamil film hero.

Anyway …

Since so many youngsters wants to be involved in criminal activities and thinks it’s cool to be in a gang, today I’m going to teach you how to be an Indian gangster. If you want to be a successful Indian gangster, you must strictly follow several guidelines or at least possess the below capabilities.

Tattoos

Tattoos are one of the most important and foremost thing for any gangster wannabes. You should at least have a few homemade tattoos in your body.

If you can’t afford to buy a few needles and ink for homemade tattoos,fret not, that’s when sticker tattoos comes into action. You can get this type of tattoos in Kedai Runcit by buying chewing gums. In order to look really gangster, you can try butterfly tattoos or tinkerbell tattoos.

Fights and Story Telling

This is an extremely important part in order to be an established gangster. If you have siblings at home, fight with them. Do not pick on bigger sized siblings; always pick if possible, your sisters. They usually have long nails and you might have a few cuts and scratch marks aftermath the fight. Do NOT wait till the wounds heal, immediately go and meet a few of your friends. Tell them that you were attacked by 20 Indian guys from Kampung Medan and you were only armed with 1 stick. During the brutal encounter, you killed 10 guys, you send 9 to ICU ward, and only one survived the attack with light injuries. Don’t worry about your friends not believing you, chances are they will be as fucking dumb as you are.

Conquer

Remember, being a gangster is all about territory. You should be able to conquer a few grounds to prove your worth. In order to be an Indian gangster, you must be able to conquer a few football fields in your housing area. Ride on your EX5 , start looking around your neighborhood football fields, and do your survey. Check out your enemies. You should be able to see a few kids playing marbles. Kill them all. Now, you’ve got a territory. If even the kids are bigger than you, move on to the next field.

Once you’ve marked the field with your presence, you must defend the field to your death. No matter even if it rains or shines; make sure you’re there all the time patrolling your padang. The field will be used for your gang member’s recreational activities, such as drinking cheap liquors and vomiting, smoking pots, or to fight. Steal any type of steel, especially from bus stops and sell them in besi buruk . The money will be useful for cigarettes and cheap liquors.

If you’re a spiritually inclined person, build a small shrine and place a brick. You will have ten dumb Indians circling around the shrine 10 times a day and then donating some money. Use it for your liquor.

Side bags

Being an Indian gangster, it is EXTREMELY important that you carry your coloring books and LUNA color pencil all the time.This is because most of the time you’ll get bored sitting all alone without any activities.

In order for you to easily keep this things and to avoid people seeing what you’re carrying, you should have a side bag. Wear it all the time. If you don’t have a side bag, alternatively you can carry school bags or SWAN branded bags.

But don’t la use your moms handbag, so not gangster wan

 

Social networking

It is very important to spread your ideology, and the best way to do it is through social networks. Open a Facebook page, name it with whatever number that you prefer, then recruit online members. You will have a few retarded Meenachis drinking Soya Bean and claiming to be gangster, perfect example below.

Make sure the picture that you upload portrays extreme violence of your gang life, including posing with gang signs.

Picture credit to Bro Nedu

Search for other FB gangs, and launch virtual attack against them. You will never get injured fighting virtually, so do what you want.

But sorry, you can’t help with girls’ problems. For an instance let’s say if she did not complete her homework, you should not go and help her. This is against an Indian gangs principle. Say if she accidentally tore her pavadai somewhere, you cannot help her to stitch it.

Protect and Fight

Of course, being a gangster is all about fighting. In order to gain a few chicks to fuck, you must at least show off to the girls that you’re very the daring. Stare at any other Indian that you see on the street. Remember, every Indian out there is your enemy. Fight for any reason you can find for, like say that he looked at your girlfriend, immediately go and kill him. Yes, you must be that fucking dumb. You should not have any sense.

Picture depicts Indian Machas during gang fights..

Now…

I’ve said this in the past, but here’s a summarization of how you should be.

1 ) Should be daring and willing to fight anyone
2 ) Should handle weapons diligently
3 ) Should have been locked up in jail at least once
4 ) Have a few marks and sign of stitches in a visible place in your body
5 ) Should be a person without a brain. Should have no thinking capabilities.
6 ) Owns own transport and willing to travel to any school to fight.
7 ) Willing to fight extra hours just to protect the field.
8 ) Should be able to drink cheap liquors and smoke
9 ) Should be able to speak vulgar words fluently in Tamil, knowledge in vulgar words in other language such as Chinese and Malay will be an added advantage.

 

I hope this guide will help you to die faster. Thank you, please cum again.


60 comments to How to be An Indian Gangster

  • Sensor_version

    M1 comment! Thumb up Thumb down +7

    Nice post bro. But can’t beat your previous post “Indian Gangs In Malaysia -Deep Down
    “…. Haha. Keep coming with great posts bro. Good luck. :)

  • Jeeva

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Hahahaha…this is cool…I really agree with the side bags concepts..all will use one color onlu..black!! wakakakaka…luna and coloring book…bro…u know the gangsters very well :)

  • kumar

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    Should be able to speak vulgar words fluently in Tamil, knowledge in vulgar words in other language such as Chinese and Malay will be an added advantage.

    DASHYAT LA BRO!!! ANOTHER GREAT ARTICLE!!!

  • Vivek Muniappan

    M1 comment! Thumb up Thumb down +15

    Bro, dressing jangan lupa.. Must wear hip hop dress no matter rain or shine.. Even if its damn hot day, must wear thick clothes with cheap silver accessories. If can, use motorbike chain to show prowess.

    Hidup RagedIndian.. Satu Hidup, Satu Blog!!

  • Beam Boy

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    -> Power la bro…Hope this article will be read all the machas around the globe :)

  • Nottyangel

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    Savadi anne :) Nice one . You deserve a salute !

  • gangster sampah

    M1 comment! Thumb up Thumb down +5

    haiyooo durai,unggele kovil katti kumbudenum..i was eating when reading this n u made me ‘tersedak’ when u give tht posing maut with handbag.

    p/s:Whose handbag is it anyway?

    Durai@gangster sampah : My moms bro..:)

  • Thumb up Thumb down +1

    Once again nice read
    FB Profile… Gangster with TeddyBear….Lolz..Good one Bro

    Keep’em Coming ;) Cheers

  • Vivek

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Bro chance ille….guide for dummies…..u can seriously publish a book on this…..morattu bedek bro…..hehehehehe

  • Tamaraichelvi

    M1 comment! Thumb up Thumb down +10

    Dude,you are probably the most creative person on planet earth!

  • SumThingWong

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    simply the best! awesome post bro!

  • Rajesh

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    I really love your blogs..and this is so awesome ..nice one bro..

  • Justanother20yroldguy

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    I’m a gangster and i find this hilarious!
    great job bro! now i have to get myself a coloring book. and a school bag.

  • navin`s friend

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up Thumb down -5

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

  • Mike

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    they can’t be helped bro…like u said they have no BRAIN….how could the society expect them to think wisely…pity them..golongan kurang upaya!!!

  • S Nanthini Devi

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    haha ; ) durai , damn good one. laugh till I dropped. well, so far, Vijayakanth , TRR , n few other ppl have already fulfill these requirements lets see how de locals. hihi.. seriously, so true n so funny..

  • Thumb up Thumb down +1

    As a fellow blogger myself, I can’t help but to laugh hysterically.

    OMG this is hilarious. You and I share the same sense of sarcasm.

  • Priya

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    I can’t help myself but to laugh XD gelak sampai menangis, aduii. Damn you’re good at this.

  • Vasu

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    fuh! what a posing with handbag..haha..can’t stop laughin! :D
    Again, good one Durai.. LIKE IT!!

  • Naren

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    Semme settai bro. WTF gangster with teddy bear ROFL!!!

  • inb

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    knowledge in vulgar words in other language such as Chinese and Malay will be an added advantage.

  • MachanBro

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    Good one bro. :)

    Highlight – Posing with handbag with faceoff..senget settai..

  • Kogul

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    “So where can I deposit the resume??” ROFL…
    Made my day bro.. :)
    just that u forgot the Thailand “temple” tattoo..
    BTW, Bro the padang in the pic, I used to come there to smoke whenever I came to my aunt’s house.. :P

  • PRANGBESAR PALANISAMY

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    Macam biasa top……just becareful, they might create a sticker with your face and 36 top and stick it on their EX5, your theyre leader without you knowing lol.

  • Izuna

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    I understand why Indian boys involved in gangs but I have no idea why girls “beria-ia” creating Fb profile name like that..Ethaku inthe vellai..:P

  • SunTannedSuperman_v2.0

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    A classic case of Settai Naa Vottai.

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    bring colouring book and luna ? chinna pillai gangster maari irekeh… LOL

  • Thumb up Thumb down +2

    LOL! Yet another M1 article! :D
    Not forgetting, the ‘mande’ has to know some other mandes in other areas but not necessary for those ‘other mandes’ to know this punde.

    Like someone mentioned, you should have added ‘For Dummies’ at the end of your post title bro. Appe than ungge sales pichikittu povom :D

  • A.Kirshna`

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    LOL~!!!
    nice 1 bro,
    laughed my guts out reading this~
    WakakaxXx!!!
    Put Coloring book inside da side bagg…like sesat!!!
    LoL~
    butterfly tattoos 4 gangsta’ wannabes!!!
    LoL
    Freakin hillarious~!!!

  • Kasvini

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Swan BAG !! Hahahhahaha..

  • VoVIn

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    ahaha..awesome post bro..this is what happening..gurls posting their “cute” photos drinking soya bean and juices claaimning to be gangster..wtf?

  • Sri

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    heyy guys…the truth is he was celebrating his gf’s b’day with her parents…then these 5 indian in a car was ramming…Navin just went to them n told that bro pls don ram the car we r having dinner…then these 5 guys took the knife n slashed him…so he wasn;t being a coward but he was a gentleman! pls get ur facts right or ask the person concerned b4 commenting..thank u..

  • Kasvini

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    kasihan bah.. budak tu.. Krystal Point is like so near my place. gosh.. BETUI??? that area has like, kids all over the place with Dominos and language centers…

  • krishna

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    superb bro….whatever u r telling here very true…aana yenna panerethe nambe machans ke rombo nenepu ippolam….olenga pedike vakke ille anna…itheku mathum mothela nippango!!!
    urepedum nambe samuthayem…hahaha!!!!
    ivenenge thirunthe mathange….
    hero konon!! show your heroism in studies and work la…ipedi vettiya sutheretheku poi sethepolam….atleast sile nallavenge peace ah valelam…idiotss!!!

  • Navin

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    SUPERB BRO………IT HAD BEEN QUIET SOMETIME I DIDNT CHECK OUT UR ARTICLES TILL I SAW THIS IN MA FB ACCOUNT POSTED BY MA FREN……ITS AWESOME BRO…….BT BE CAREFUL WEN EVER U GOING OUTSIDE….SINCE U R ATTACKING INDIAN MACHA GANGS BRUTALLY, U MIGHT BE THEIR HOT SPOT RITE NW….HAHAHA

  • OG

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    It has been quite long since I laughed out loud like this.. aiooo hahahaha
    awesome write-up tan sri!!

    and the way u posed with the handbag..chance’eh illaa :P

  • Thumb up Thumb down +1

    good to hear… but how this all happen …. do u know what is brotherhood….anyhow thanks bro….when people come from china they need someone to protect.. so do indians… people have wrong view now on brotherhood… hope u mention good deed of brotherhood…

  • Reen

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    Omg! This is so damn ffunny… Love this fuckin’ blog… you totally rock dude… :D

  • Thumb up Thumb down +1

    You hit on the #1 inter-personal travel safety tip here: mind your own business, act like a rabbit, not a wolf. Unless you are willing to die to be be tough, being a tough guy is not worth it.

  • alan

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    bravo brother.. i respect ur page and information.

  • Bahma

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Durai

    I re-read your post and your reply to Navin’s friend. It does matter, when you refer to Navin by his name and then say things like you’ve been drinking, go home and screw your girlfriend etc. It is disrespectful and hurtful. I really have no bones with what you’ve written, I know where you are coming from and I do enjoy reading your posts. But the reference to Navin and your subsequent reply – uncalled for, bro, especially since you did not know what had happened. When someone tried to explain, his post got low ranking. Just my two-cents but I felt I had to say this since my best friend has been traumatised by her best friend’s death on her birthday.

    • Durai

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

      Hi Bahma,

      ” It doesn’t matter. I’m not talking about Navin here, I’m talking about thousands of other guys who does it. No insult was intended to the deceased. I was careful not to accuse him or the killer, the statement was targeted to everyone.”

      I’ve said above that it does not refer to Navin. It was not a targeted message. It may feel otherwise because that’s the way I write. I apologize if it had offended you.

  • Bahma

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    No, you did not offend me. The tenor of your message is correct, I agree with you 100%. The reference to Navin’s death is not out of order, and I know you are not being specific, but the elaboration after that is unfortunate.

    Through no fault of his own, a young man has lost his life, a couple have lost their only child, a girlfriend lost her would-be, and many people have lost a friend. Sigh. So senseless. I think you should write a piece (if you haven’t already, I apologise, I am a newcomer here) on the influence of Tamil movies on our people. Anyway, I am glad I came across your blog. Keep it up, bro. I am recommending your blog to all my friends.

    Durai @ Noted Bahma:)

  • prabakar

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    Hahahah this article about gangsterism never gets old..:)

    i think most of us here have checked the Tiga enam ponnu in facebook!

  • Thumb up Thumb down 0

    good post bro…. “being a coward under certain circumstances will save your life” been in that situation bro… me and my colleagues when chillin and drinkin(not in taman datuk or taman rakyat, but in a proper bar) once when this so called karat machas started beating the crap out of us for no concrete reason(the reason they gave is because we laugh at them, in fact we were just chillin and laughing, reminiscing our good old times in school) . At first, I was so pissed my man… wanted to f*** their asses back…. but I didn’t (probably b’coz I’m in the flight category and not fight)… Right after the incident I told ma friend(educated machas who apparently was beaten the crap out at the same time) that I tak puas hati and we should have given them back on the spot. My wise lawyer macha then said ” vidu macha… nambe ellam nalla padichirukke… nalaikke nambele naambi thaan nambe amma appa ella irukangge… anthe gangsterekke ellam future illei… aathan ippidi ellam panderangge… nalaikke avengge ellam settha nobody gonna cry… but athe maaari nambe settha nambe parentske periya lost macha… vidhe macha” (Translation- leave it lah macha, we all are educated unlike them. Our parents are looking forward to us in the future, these gangster ain’t got no future that’s why they are doing all these.. if later tomorrow they die means nobody gonna cry over them but if the same thing happen to us, it’s gonna be a huge blow for our parents dei). What my lawyer macha said was true. We were right for being coward at that time. Only god can save this so called “karat machas”(deep inside I really hope even god will f*** em up). Sorry for the long comments guys. Felt like sharing to you guys about this… – White Naga

  • shanraj

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    well said br0…

  • L

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    i liked how you used sarcasm and humour but at the same time they are humans and i would say society made them succumb to the way they are.But undeniably a good piece :)

  • Natasha Linda

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Stumbled upon your page and I already like your writing. Gonna click2 on the older posts now….added you to my favorite folder already

    Very funny – esp Gangster with teddy bear.

  • Peter_pratap

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    bro, u forgot to mention about losing arms, legs, when got attacked but no insurance coverage,no money to pay ‘settlement money’, lawyer’s fees, burden the family n at the end live with title ‘once upon a time Baasha’ working as a cleaner, car wash, security guard smoking dope by the roadside….! LOL………….!

  • A-style

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    hahaha…durai bro,this blog wer intro to me by my fren..and m soo hooked up with this blog now…hahahahah
    9 ) Should be able to speak vulgar words fluently in Tamil, knowledge in vulgar words in other language such as Chinese and Malay will be an added advantage.
    cant stop laughing….wakakakakakka

  • Abang besar

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    Bang…naah sentosa kaigeh bang..yenekeh engplish puriyateh bang..padikeh teriyateh bang..kaingelah sonechi ningeh rombeh cekap neh..jokka yeleteringeh neh ungeh blok leh…naangeh lan tirintum bang..ningeh dashyat bang..yengeleh yelatiyum tirutih tingeleh…engplish padikeh teriyameleh nangeh tirintitom baaangg…

x

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